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The Bar

Discussion in 'Coffee Shack (Daily News/Economy)' started by Scorpio, Nov 29, 2016.



  1. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  2. ErrosionOfAccord

    ErrosionOfAccord #1 Global Warmer Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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  3. EricTheCat

    EricTheCat Silver Member Silver Miner

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    It seems I am a little late to this party. It could be worse but I have had one of those days. Robot waiter #5, I'll have a Leinenkugel's. If something is being passed around I might be interested. :secret:
     
  4. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    Wow, someone who knows about Leinies?

    Years ago, up in Alaska, was coming back to the area on vaca. Guy paid me to bring him back a case of Leinies.
     
  5. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
    The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to have a hard time choosing.
    Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
    The blonde promptly replies, "Fifteen inches."
    "Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small - what room are they for?"
    The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, but they are for her computer monitor.
    The surprised salesman replies, "But miss, computers do not need curtains!"
    The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo! I've got Windoooooows!"
     
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  6. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

    The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

    "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

    "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

    "I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

    Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.

    With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

    What in the world are you doing here?" he demanded. "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

    "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over -- so now we're going to Sea World."
     
  7. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    ok ok, I will stop after one more that fits this site,



    An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.

    The banker pulled out the loan application.
    "What are you going to do with the money?" he asks the Indian.

    "Buy Silver, make jewelry, and sell it," was the response.

    "What have you got for collateral?"

    "Don't know collateral," replied the Indian

    "Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.
    "Have you got any vehicles?"

    "Yes. 1949 Chevy pickup," replied the Indian

    The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

    "Yes, I have a horse," replied the Indian

    "How old is it?" the banker asks.

    "Don't know, has no teeth," replies the Indian

    Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

    Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank.
    He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said.
    He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.

    "What are you going to do with the rest of that money?" the banker asks.

    "Put in hogan", replied the Indian

    "Why don't you deposit it in my bank," the banker asked.

    "Don't know deposit," replied the Indian

    "You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you.
    Whenever you want to use it, you can withdraw it."

    The old Indian leaned across the desk and asks the banker...
    "What you got for collateral?"
     
  8. Son of Gloin

    Son of Gloin Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    Hoss Cartwright. When I was a kid, Dan Blocker was the only reason I watched Bonanza. He was cool as hell.
     
  9. EricTheCat

    EricTheCat Silver Member Silver Miner

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    Leinies is fairly well known around here. What is strange is I prefer the original in cans over bottles. Hard to explain why, it is the only beer I have ever felt that way with. I learned to like the taste of it at a wedding I was at and then after the wedding the host was kind enough to send me home with a case. Ever since it has been my every day beer.

    On this Sunday morning though I think I will enjoy a guinness after I'm done moving snow. We got dumped on. I really hope the blower will start without too much trouble. :)
     
  10. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    yep, snowing to beat the ban here also,
     
  11. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. EricTheCat

    EricTheCat Silver Member Silver Miner

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    I knew my table was missing something.

    Snow-2016-12-11-Img_3230SSS.jpg
     
  13. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    that wasn't beer,

    that was some rubbish lite this or that............
     
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  14. JayDubya

    JayDubya Gold Chaser Platinum Bling

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    A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
    She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you."

    She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

    The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

    The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

    The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
     
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  15. JayDubya

    JayDubya Gold Chaser Platinum Bling

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    A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
    "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

    The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

    "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

    The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.

    "I would like to buy this TV."

    "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

    Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

    "Because that's a microwave," he replied
     
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  16. ErrosionOfAccord

    ErrosionOfAccord #1 Global Warmer Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    I never understood Americas fascination with Budweiser. Back in the 90s I could get a case of Natural Lite for under $10 on the AFB and it was way better than the buds.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2016
  17. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  18. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. oldgaranddad

    oldgaranddad Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    FirstSipOfBeeerAfterALongDay.jpg
     
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  21. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  22. oldgaranddad

    oldgaranddad Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    FishFuckInIt.jpg
     
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  23. oldgaranddad

    oldgaranddad Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    Some cheap stuff I need to plow through before opening up the good stuff. :beer:
     
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  24. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
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  25. JayDubya

    JayDubya Gold Chaser Platinum Bling

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    Hello, my name is JayDubya and I'm a bourbon snob. Shhhh, don't tell anyone but I think I may have found a new love....

    [​IMG]
     
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  26. oldgaranddad

    oldgaranddad Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    I've been getting more and more into Bourbon. I'm working on this now. Pretty nice but I wish the bouquet was a little better. It's smooth but plain Old Grand Dad has a better appeal to the nose than this. Even with this handicap a lot of my guests really like this stuff. I'm expecting this bottle to bite the dust before New Years Eve the way my family imbibes.

    [​IMG]
     
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  27. EricTheCat

    EricTheCat Silver Member Silver Miner

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    Grainbelt Premium, the beer of my younger years.
    Grainbelt.gif
     
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  28. JayDubya

    JayDubya Gold Chaser Platinum Bling

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    I've been drinking bourbon for 38 years and all of a sudden I've found more enjoyment out of the handful of scotches I've had in the last couple of months than many of my old "standby" bourbons.

    I almost never drink anymore but will on occasional with a nice meal or something like that.

    I think I'm going to check out this other Aberlour offering next.

    Here's the supposed story. If it's true, it's very cool.

    Aberlour distillery was founded in 1879 by James Fleming. Fleming died in 1895 and in 1898 a fire wiped out much of the distillery and it's on-hand inventory. A man by the name of Charles Doig, who was one of Scotland's premier distillery designers, rebuilt.

    Legend says that in 1975 workers were installing a 2nd pair of stills when they discovered a buried time capsule. Inside the time capsule they found a bottle of 1898 bottle of Aberlour Scotch wrapped in newspaper article about the fire.

    The workmen drank most of the bottle but preserved a small portion which was sent to a laboratory in Keith, Scotland for analysis. Aberlour A'bunadh is a tribute to that 1898 bottle of Scotch.
     
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  29. Hystckndle

    Hystckndle Daguerreotype Fanatic Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    Golfer on the LPGA tour goes to the blonde
    tour doctor because she was bitten by some yellow jackets she stired up on the practice round......nasty little things,
    stinging bites they are...
    Blonde doctor says " so where did they bite you ?"
    Golfer answers " between hole # 1 and hole # 2 "...
    Blonde doctor stares at her ...3 or 4 seconds pass by
    and doctor says ,
    " I know EXACTLY how to cure this and it won 't EVER bother you again !!! "
    Golfer says " hows that ? "
    Blonde doctor looks intently at her and answers quite definitively to her...
    " Thats easy dear...your stance is to wide !!! "
     
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  30. FoundingFathers

    FoundingFathers Founder Founding Member Site Mgr Site Supporter

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    start 'em young.

    [​IMG]
     
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  31. Scorpio

    Scorpio Скорпион Founding Member Board Elder Site Mgr Site Supporter ++

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    note the token black kid also just to be absolutely pc

    these corporations are pathetic

    stereotypes? Check
     
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  32. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]

    Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Light & Pabst Blue Ribbon in cans!!
     
  33. Professur

    Professur Midas Member Midas Member Site Supporter

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    Two things. Beer doesn't come in cans, it comes in bottles. But that's alright .. because none of those qualify as real beer.
     
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  34. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    lol

    They feature Bomb Bomb Lager, Miller Lite & Yuengling Black & Tan on tap.

    Bottles include Yuengling Lager, Victory Golden Monkey, Yards Philadelphia Pale Ale, Yards IPA, Flying Fish Hop Fish, Seirra Nevada Pale Ale, Peroni Nastro Azzurro, Corona Extra, Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite, Miller High Life, Budweiser, Rolling Rock, Michelob Ultra, Grolsh Premium Lager, Heineken Lager, Amstel Light Lager, Stella Artois Pilsner,Blue Moon Belgian White,
    Angry Orchard Cider, O’Doul’s Premium Non-Alcoholic
     
  35. FoundingFathers

    FoundingFathers Founder Founding Member Site Mgr Site Supporter

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    It's actually photoshopped. Fischer-Price put out a statement as they've been swamped with hysterical parents complaining. lol.
     
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  36. Professur

    Professur Midas Member Midas Member Site Supporter

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    I actually went on a lager/cider binge last summer. Quite the difference over the usual heavy ale. Granted, I couldn't drink enough of it to get any sort of buzz, but it was definitely more refreshing.
     
  37. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  38. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  39. searcher

    searcher Mother Lode Found Site Supporter ++ Mother Lode

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    [​IMG]
     
  40. glockngold

    glockngold Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    P1010001.JPG P1010003.JPG P1010004.JPG P1010005.JPG

    To help me keep a lid on things, I don't start drinking till dark.
    In the summer it can get pretty thirsty.
    But here in winter solstice times... hell it's dark already.
    So let me recommend this beer I'm drinking.
    It's got everything to like: smut, cute animal, old codger in suspenders, the word nose, & it tastes just fine garage temp as well as refrigerated.
    Smuttynose Finest Kind IPA
     
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