1. Same story, different day...........year ie more of the same fiat floods the world
    Dismiss Notice
  2. There are no markets
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Week of 6/24/2017 Closing prices & Chg Over Last Wk---- Gold $1256.40 Silver $16.64 Oil $43.01 USD $96.94
  4. "Spreading the ideas of freedom loving people on matters regarding high finance, politics, constructionist Constitution, and mental masturbation of all types"
    Dismiss Notice

Your reaction when your Spouse gets hit on?

Discussion in 'Topical Discussions (In Depth)' started by 97guns, Mar 20, 2017.



  1. 97guns

    97guns Gold Member Gold Chaser

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,370
    Likes Received:
    1,083
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Location:
    USA
    She is from a very small village where everyone knows each other and she is very inexperienced with anything outside of that
     
  2. Zed

    Zed Size doesn't count! Midas Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2010
    Messages:
    11,354
    Likes Received:
    9,330
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Nuclear Technician
    Location:
    Springfield
    The US must be a full frontal assault for her! Poor girl... Vegas took me a little time to get used too! Take it easy on her, must be sensory overload @ first!
     
  3. Agavegirl1

    Agavegirl1 Silver Miner Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    1,236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    You will not believe me if I told you.
    Location:
    Somewhere in the midwest
    Undoubtedly, but you need to move your "line" and make it her "line". She needs to be schooled in the art of the "sweet snarky put-down" and the "outraged indignation" and the "icy phrases about calling police or security while giving them the cold disinterested stare" that American women learn as they grow up. She has the power to diffuse the situation before you ever get physical. Give her the power. Do you have someone in your life you trust that can help her? A sister? A cousin? A friend's wife?

    I am interested in this topic because (yes back in 1977) I went out with the "girls" from the base for this very reason. American's are so "forward" and "aggressive". American women do not submit to men but hold their own. This was foreign. This was difficult for the Chinese wife and he Vietnamese wife and the girlfriend from Indonesia. I was a "safe" person for them to be with. I was married to another soldier and I had a one year old daughter.

    Now, your SO may be flattered by the "green monster". It may be okay for her. But it would not be okay for me. And it will not be okay for police, security etc. Please do not risk leaving her in a lurch while you cool your heels in a jail cell waiting for arraignment. Don't risk getting her arrested as well if she feels she need to intervene in your physical altercation. I spent too many years dealing with "Drama" and it is not a comfortable place. You want comfortable, you want secure, you want confident, you want a really good sense of humor where both of you laugh at the ineptitude of the "would be" suitors of your SO and how she (and you to a lesser degree) put them in their place.
     
    JayDubya, Zed, mayhem and 1 other person like this.
  4. Merlin

    Merlin Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter ++

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2010
    Messages:
    2,349
    Likes Received:
    2,732
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    I've never had that experience; but I completely understand your reaction. Genuinely sorry for your broken heart. Hope your love life is good now :)
     
    stonedywankanobe and Zed like this.
  5. 97guns

    97guns Gold Member Gold Chaser

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,370
    Likes Received:
    1,083
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Location:
    USA

    I told her that there will be a fight one day with all the attention she is getting but I did not explain how she should diffuse the situation

    With all the daily attention she gets I fear that there will be an instance where there is no way she can diffuse and that a grope happens even if she tries to negate, my fear is not loosing her, my fear is that a persuasive male takes her no as a yes
     
  6. Mujahideen

    Mujahideen Black Member Midas Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    8,289
    Likes Received:
    12,341
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Silver stacker
    Location:
    America!
    I agree, it's up to the female to diffuse the situation by nipping it in the bud immediately.

    But the moment another man crosses the physical line, he needs to be confronted head on with no hesitation.

    A punch to the face right off the bat isn't always the best answer depending on context of things, but the guy does need to be stepped to.

    Failure to do so makes you a coward. A proper woman cannot be ok with her man being a coward. And a man should not be ok with cowardice when it comes to protecting the women in his life.
     
    Traderjoe and 97guns like this.
  7. Agavegirl1

    Agavegirl1 Silver Miner Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    1,236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    You will not believe me if I told you.
    Location:
    Somewhere in the midwest
    I get it. You are afraid. You are afraid of her reaction. You are afraid of your reaction. It is not her fault how she looks. Teach her to protect herself. Teach her her body is hers to control. It is her gift. You may not trust the groper but she needs to know her power. The problem is...you don't trust her. You can coach her, you can have friends and family help school her, you can talk until you are blue in the face. If you don't trust her, the problem is with your relationship. It may seem weird, but the best advice is to solidify your relationship with this woman. She needs to trust you with everything and you need to do the same. This can only be accomplished by tackling the tough topics. No lies, no exaggerations, no omissions, admit every mistake, apologize when you mess up and expect the same from her. She is likely lonely and concerned. Your honesty will go a long way toward solidifying what you have already built.

    In a relationship, the truth is the easiest version to remember and you never have to lie. (or exaggerate or omit).

    BTW...my daughter got engaged at the Grand Canyon and my husband and I visited the North Rim last fall. It is lovely and romantic.
     
    D-FENZ likes this.
  8. tom baxter

    tom baxter back from 2004

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2016
    Messages:
    699
    Likes Received:
    643
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired now
    Location:
    Australia
    tell her to dress down, if she refuses then you know she likes being hit on, most women do, it bolsters their ego.
     
  9. Stop Making Cents

    Stop Making Cents Seeker Seeker

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2010
    Messages:
    386
    Likes Received:
    212
    Trophy Points:
    43
    If same race then OK. But do not be naive thinking a mail order bride will not use you.
     
  10. Stop Making Cents

    Stop Making Cents Seeker Seeker

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2010
    Messages:
    386
    Likes Received:
    212
    Trophy Points:
    43
    You would be wise to teach her the truth about blacks. They are always on the prowl for their next victim and have no sense of shame or decency. They aren't like most "people".
     
  11. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder Hypophthalmichthys molitrix Gold Chaser Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,723
    Likes Received:
    2,155
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Seattle
    My wife (of 25 years) is asian to. Also a member of the human race. I agree with you SMC, that dating Klingons or some other species probably would lead to problems.

    As to the original question, when someone hits on my wife I view it as an complement to my good taste. She knows how to deal with it - flash the ring, say I'm married.

    BF
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2017
    ABC123 and mayhem like this.
  12. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder Hypophthalmichthys molitrix Gold Chaser Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,723
    Likes Received:
    2,155
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Seattle
    Yes, I totally agree with that statement, Agave. I have never understood why some women think that violent men will only abuse other men.

    BF
     
  13. GOLDBRIX

    GOLDBRIX God,Donald Trump,most in GIM2 I Trust. OTHERS-meh Site Supporter Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2010
    Messages:
    5,485
    Likes Received:
    5,206
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Key words there B.F. - "25 years".
    He has a rookie in this world of Big League.

    YES Trust is indeed needed on both sides BUT everybody needs to know the same rules and play accordingly.
    A good friend of mine lost his wife due to his strangle-hold on her. He would not let her go shopping with her sisters w/o tagging along. I tried to tell him but I think it made it worse.
     
    mayhem likes this.
  14. D-FENZ

    D-FENZ Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter ++

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,474
    Likes Received:
    2,924
    Trophy Points:
    113
    From your posts, including this one, indicate that you are still quite insecure in your relationship. That is completely normal for a relationship as new as yours. Complete confidence takes years to fully develop. In this stage you would be looking for a potential rival/suitor behind every tree. Probably seeing threats that don't even exist. Not saying she hasn't had inappropriate overtures, but I suspect that many have only been imagined. A beautiful young Thai woman with a tenuous grasp of the American culture and language enhances her vulnerabilities and your suspicions. But you must give her some time and exposure. Loosten the leash a bit- as hard as it may be. Encourage her to make new aquaintances and friends. Her true nature will eventually be revealed. As with any relationship the sooner the better.

    And be careful. Many foreign women are accustomed to what we would consider to be abject poverty. But you would be amazed how quickly they aquire a taste for the finer things in a land of plenty. Time will tell if she is enamoured with you- or just yours.

    You did ask.
     
    stonedywankanobe likes this.
  15. Joe King

    Joe King Gold Member Gold Chaser

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    4,480
    Likes Received:
    4,241
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Instant Gratification Land
    Mail order has nothing to do with it. The regular kind has the potential to use, too. All depends on what's goin' on between the ears, and other than your own, there's no real way to know for sure what's goin' on between anyones ears.
     
  16. Mujahideen

    Mujahideen Black Member Midas Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    8,289
    Likes Received:
    12,341
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Silver stacker
    Location:
    America!
    If all else fails, tell her under the trump administration if she leaves you then she can be deported; and wear a make America great again hat all the time.
     
  17. nickndfl

    nickndfl Midas Member Midas Member Site Supporter ++

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2011
    Messages:
    11,231
    Likes Received:
    8,823
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Florida
    NE Fish Market.jpg I am proud to have not the smartest, but instead most beautiful girl on my arm when we walk into a room. She gets hit on all the time. I get my share too. Doesn't bother me and in fact it's funny when some guys stutter around her. If they only knew. July 2011 010-2.jpg 20141221_125746 (1).jpg
     
    Someone_else likes this.
  18. ^updated^

    ^updated^ found a way in Silver Miner

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2010
    Messages:
    948
    Likes Received:
    1,985
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Occupation:
    no answer
    Location:
    no answer
    That's a man, baby
     
    Zed likes this.
  19. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder Hypophthalmichthys molitrix Gold Chaser Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,723
    Likes Received:
    2,155
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Seattle
    Unh? Only knew what?

    (Where's that damn <I don't understand> button when you need it?)

    BF
     
  20. JayDubya

    JayDubya Platinum Bling Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2010
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    4,103
    Trophy Points:
    113
    That was you????
     
    D-FENZ likes this.
  21. nickndfl

    nickndfl Midas Member Midas Member Site Supporter ++

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2011
    Messages:
    11,231
    Likes Received:
    8,823
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Florida
    Her beauty outweighs her intellect, but who cares anymore.
     
  22. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    OK, you guys have never been to vernowhere, vernowhere, where you don't lose your woman, nope, you just lose your place in line...:finished 2:

    I had the owner of a bar there tell me "You don't want her, she is the town ride." Really, told me that...my response? "Yeha but I am riding that now." And they say women are not thought of as property? Thing is that it is getting on 20 years now.

    Here is one thing i do know, if you aint flirt'n then y are dead... you can look at the menu but because of prior contract obligations you cannot sample nothing but the main plate.

    K, guess i will read the posts now....hope they are entertaining.:dancing guy
     
  23. GOLDBRIX

    GOLDBRIX God,Donald Trump,most in GIM2 I Trust. OTHERS-meh Site Supporter Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2010
    Messages:
    5,485
    Likes Received:
    5,206
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Nick..,
    To paraphrase a line from E.L. &P. " ...ouuuuu What a luck man you are".
     
    nickndfl likes this.
  24. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    Dag nab it best plethora of ubiquitous advice I have seen per ever.

    :judge
     
  25. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    Oh you are just awful quoting a rail road poster.....ghee-hoties...
     
  26. Zed

    Zed Size doesn't count! Midas Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2010
    Messages:
    11,354
    Likes Received:
    9,330
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Nuclear Technician
    Location:
    Springfield
    U one sick puppy!
     
  27. Zed

    Zed Size doesn't count! Midas Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2010
    Messages:
    11,354
    Likes Received:
    9,330
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Nuclear Technician
    Location:
    Springfield
    Good idea! We need a WTF button!
     
  28. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    ur killing me here with the Austin Powers quips....PLZ stop or I will pee myself....
     
  29. Agavegirl1

    Agavegirl1 Silver Miner Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    1,236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    You will not believe me if I told you.
    Location:
    Somewhere in the midwest
    You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat
    You can feel the cushion, but you can't have a seat
    You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim
    You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin

    And you want her, and she wants you
    We want everyone
    And you want her and she wants you
    No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
    You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it
    You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win
    Some break the rules, and let you cut the cost
    The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost

    And you want her, and she wants you
    We want everyone
    And you want her and she wants you
    No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

    You can see the summit but you can't reach it
    It's the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit
    Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain
    Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain

    And you want her, and she wants you
    We want everyone
    And you want her and she wants you
    No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

    No one ever is to blame
    No one ever is to blame

    The song is about unfulfilled attractions, saying that they're normal and commonplace ("We want everyone - no one ever is to blame"). It uses a number of metaphors, such as "You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat" and "It's the last piece of the puzzle, but you just can't make it fit," to describe the frustration of experiencing attraction but being unable to act on it, for whatever reason. On a deeper level it describes the frustration and pain of unfulfilled desires and dreams inherent in the human condition.

    From 1985 by British Musician Howard Jones

    As long as we are on songs now.......
     
    ABC123, michael59 and GOLDBRIX like this.
  30. MIavatar

    MIavatar Seeker

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2016
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    86
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    I just had an incident where my “friends” come over asking for gas money. One is like my sister. The other one is basically a whore. First thing out of this girls mouth was “can I get some gas money”. It’s just that they know I’m fighting with my youngest sons mom and they start asking for money. I kept asking them “ do you have my baby?”. “Why should I support you when I have my kids to support?”. That sort of defused the situation and they left. Even though this one might try to set me up eventually. Ah the joys of living in Babylon. Jerry Springer time.
     
    stonedywankanobe and michael59 like this.
  31. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    Good luck with that Mlavatar.

    but damm there Aguavegirl1....I kind of remember them lyrics.... gona have to search it out now..

    hey edit: hey girl thanks much, I so remember that song casting it right now.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2017
  32. GOLDBRIX

    GOLDBRIX God,Donald Trump,most in GIM2 I Trust. OTHERS-meh Site Supporter Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2010
    Messages:
    5,485
    Likes Received:
    5,206
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
     
  33. Agavegirl1

    Agavegirl1 Silver Miner Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    1,236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    You will not believe me if I told you.
    Location:
    Somewhere in the midwest
    And....you're not the father!
     
    GOLDBRIX and the_shootist like this.
  34. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    got it...have a computer that is faster than my mind. thnks bud.
     
  35. the_shootist

    the_shootist The war is here on our doorstep! Midas Member Site Supporter ++

    Joined:
    May 31, 2015
    Messages:
    15,486
    Likes Received:
    15,310
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Oxygen Breather
    Location:
    Somewhere out there!
    Mrs Shootist watches that wretched program. Is that a chick thing watching those losers?
     
  36. MIavatar

    MIavatar Seeker

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2016
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    86
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    It would be devastating if they weren't mine. Hey, I would save $400 a month though and prolly still raise um.
     
  37. Agavegirl1

    Agavegirl1 Silver Miner Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    1,236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    You will not believe me if I told you.
    Location:
    Somewhere in the midwest
    The song was very meaningful to me in 1985. It came out when I was just graduating from college and my marriage was on the rocks. I commuted to college 144 miles round trip 4 days a week and we played the radio in my carpool. I was attracted to people I encountered, but until I was divorced, I would never act on it so the song meant something to me in particular. It would not be right for our children.
     
    GOLDBRIX likes this.
  38. michael59

    michael59 heads up-butts down Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,481
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    20 years logging
    Location:
    on the low side of corporate Oregon
    It don't work like that bud. raised five added two and the other guy kept stuffing the support in his pocket.....

    It is what it is as how it has been done. Some times one has to just carry the load and not rely on something else.

    not say'n anything bad about ur post.
     
    Mujahideen likes this.
  39. Agavegirl1

    Agavegirl1 Silver Miner Site Supporter ++ Platinum Bling

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    1,236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    You will not believe me if I told you.
    Location:
    Somewhere in the midwest
    I watched a couple of times about 7 years ago and that's all I got out of it.....
     
  40. the_shootist

    the_shootist The war is here on our doorstep! Midas Member Site Supporter ++

    Joined:
    May 31, 2015
    Messages:
    15,486
    Likes Received:
    15,310
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Oxygen Breather
    Location:
    Somewhere out there!
    You're an honorable man Michael!!
     

Share This Page