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Crooks, Cons & Connivers In The Automotive Industry

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Hyundai Ionic EV: what I learned after 7 days behind the wheel | Auto Expert John Cadogan
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Published on Dec 14, 2018
I’m driving the Ionic, ‘Straya’s cheapest EV, which is quiet and smooth, and keeps up in traffic, without being speedy, and it’s well appointed and comfortable.

Certainly it’s a practical size. And you don’t have to look like you’re on the way to Comicon to drive one. So that’s nice. No ‘Trekkie’ jump suit required.

On balance, I kinda like it. Especially in traffic.

I don’t like it the way I like an i30 N. But it’s OK.

Of course, I’m giving it back on Friday, which is very different to forking over $50,000 in your own SMDs and sticking with the vehicle for five years.

Ioniq is the sixth EV I’ve driven, ranging from the first Mitsubishi iMiEV to the Model S. And 10 days is the longest I’ve slept with an EV.
I could certainly live with an Ioniq, 97 per cent of the time, but of course I’d have to train myself not to lust after spirited driving. In traffic, though, who cares? It’s fine. It’s definitely not sluggish. And it’s quite refined.

Silent without being deadly.

I guess the other three per cent of the time - call it one day a month - I might need to go more than 200 kilometres in one sitting. And that would be a pain in the arse, frankly.

The average passenger vehicle in ‘Straya does only 35 kilometres a day, according to the Bureau of Statistics. So you could drive an Ioniq EV for almost a week without re-charging - if you are that quintessentially average driving dude, or dudess.

(Hyundai says 230km in the real world, but my experience is, with the air conditioning blasting, keeping the Shitsvillian summer at bay - you’d best bank on 200 kays from a full tank of electrons. That’s 120 miles in ‘Murica, or Brexitistan, etc.)

But you do pay a significant premium for this considerable constraint on the range, compared with a conventional car. There’s no real getting around that.

You could sell me the benefit of EVs purely on the basis of clean air in our cities. But you can’t sell me EVs on the basis of planet-saving or cost. That’s how this plays for me.

Climate change is very real. Humanity is causing it. It’s an emergency. We need to act. There’s no doubt. It’s like the health implications of smoking. The data is that clear-cut.

But with chumps like Dumb Donald and ScoMo at the helms of Retardistan and ‘Straya respectively, we’re just wasting time, disgracefully, looking like chumps in front of the rest of the developed world. So, well done, us.

However, cars are only eight per cent of the greenhouse problem here in Australia. And our arsehole Federal Government is not only addicted to coal like the worst crack-addicted whore ever … it’s also the Walter White of pushing black and brown.

That’s because we export immense amounts of coal. Far more than we burn. To put this in perspective: Australia emits about 600 million tonnes of CO2-equivalent greenhouse gasses every year. That’s everything from agriculture to electricity to transport: The lot.

But the amount of coal we export effectively doubles that. We push it, offshore, breaking bad like a climate crack-dealing kingpin.

So I think it’s fair to say I’m in the middle on EVs - and therefore hated equally by Kool-Aid-sipping Team Tesla plug-in nut-jobs, but also detested by society’s most scientifically illiterate right-wing retards, who are actually stupid enough to conclude climate change is a conspiracy.

So I could live with the Ioniq. Seamlessly. Ninety-seven per cent of the time. And the other one day a month, I guess Google would find me a fast charger, out there, on location, and I’d just have to hope there aren’t a dozen EVs queued up ahead of me, at 23 minutes apiece - for a so-called ‘fast’ charge.

Because that would get old.

But my accountant would say I’m paying $14,000 more than an equivalent internal combustion car (that’s factoring in installing a 7kVa charger at home).

He’d point out to me that the average price of electricity - factoring in some off-peak consumption - is maybe 20 cents for one kilowatt-hour. (SMDs.)

That’s about 3.4 cents per kilometre in an EV, versus about 10.4 cents per kilometre in a similar sized 2.0-litre internal combustion car.

So driving the Ioniq I’m paying $14,000 extra up front to save seven cents per kilometre.

Economically, I’d break even in 200,000 kilometres. That’s a little under 16 years of average driving. So kindly don’t waste my time with EV evangelising bullshit statements about how much you are saving on fuel.

I would argue it’s very difficult to mount an economically compelling case for buying an EV.

I guess you could pay 20 or 30 grand more for a solar array and a stationary battery at home, and go completely off the grid. That’s a lot extra, I’d suggest, to save an additional 3.4 cents per kilometre, in economic terms. However environmentally laudable.

Clearly some people have 30 or 40 grand lying around to pursue sustainability. Maybe that’s worth it to you, if you are affluent enough, and you seek to achieve what Dumb Donald and the God botherer cannot.
 

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If we all drove EVs tomorrow, would the electricity grid cope? | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpertTV


Published on Dec 14, 2018
Australian Electricity Statistics: https://www.energy.gov.au/sites/g/fil...

According to the latest figures from the Shitsvillian Department of the Environment and Energy, we generated about 260,000 gigawatt-hours of electricity in 2017.

And we’d need another 30,000 of them - that’s about 12 per cent more total electricity to run our new miraculous fleet of Ioniqs for all. There’s (essentially) no ‘spare’ electricity - so we’d need to generate more power.

And there’s no guarantee we’d be charging up overnight at home, using off-peak. You’d plug in at work, wouldn’t you? Suck on the boss’s teat if at all possible.

At the moment, our electricity grid is about 15 per cent renewable, and 85 per cent filthy. Obviously, to stick with that mix would be absurd - because you’d want it all to be renewable.

So basically we’d need 75 per cent more renewable electricity.

Some people say there’s been exponential growth in renewables recently. But that is emphatic, agenda-serving misrepresentation. In fact, it’s taken about 12 years to double the renewable component of the grid.

We hit 20,000 gigawatt-hours of renewable electricity for the first time in 2004-05, and 40,000 in 2016-17.

There’s been rapid growth in wind and solar - but it’s off a very low base. It’s not the same thing as ‘exponential growth of renewables’. That’s indefensible.

It’s an average compound growth rate of 5.9 per cent in renewables in 12 years.

Since 2010 the renewable component has increased about 50 per cent.

Hydro is still the biggest - but all the growth has been in wind and photovoltaics.

To understand the scope of this problem - eliminating liquid fuels from passenger cars using renewable electricity - you would need to magic up more than double either the current number of wind farms or hydro power stations.

Or you could do it with four times as many rooftop arrays on homes and businesses - provided that electricity was used exclusively for re-charging cars - and not also for running your air conditioner, or the refrigerator.

Or you could do it with 40 times the current number of large-scale solar power plants we currently have.

Ordinary Aussie battlers have embraced solar power with ten times the enthusiasm of the politician arseholes who are supposed to represent us.

And this is the most disgraceful thing about our grid, and why EVs are a square peg in the black hole of Australia, at least for now.

Rooftop solar is, like, a referendum on who wants clean energy, where you vote not only with a pen, but also with your wallet. And it’s fair to say the results are in.

Ordinary ‘Strayans acknowledge that the world - and our part of it in particular - is awash in sunlight. Far more energy than the human race requires.

But more than a decade of governments and (I dunno, 30 - whatever it is) mentally retarded prime ministers remain spectacularly disengaged from us, and breathtakingly uninformed on anything technical or scientific.

There is 10 times more electricity being generated from small scale rooftop solar on people’s houses here in Shitsville than by the kinds of massive photovoltaic projects only governments can build - owing to cost, scale and amortisation criteria.

Investing in the future is the classic governmental responsibility, because it’s something at which the free market is shit, and it’s out of reach of individuals.

Of course, that’s something a government does, only if it is not down on its knees and bobbing its head enthusiastically in the direction of the coal industry, and run by embarrassing dickheads.

So no - as with most things, the products themselves - the electric cars in this case - are either here now or on the cusp of being here, and the infrastructure is at least a decade away from being ready.
And we in the electorate deserve better than that.
 

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How VW illegally sold up to 17,000 pre production prototypes to customers | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpertTV


Published on Dec 14, 2018
I guess when you participate willingly in the systematic execution of up to 17 million people, nothing you do after that is ever really gunna seem that bad. The Christmas Volkswagen update is next.

The car company established by Adolf Hitler himself has made its way onto Santa’s ‘naughty’ list again for 2018. A hat trick! The gift that keeps on giving.

First there was dieselgate, in which those criminal Volkswagen cocks failed to resist the temptation for even more large-scale population gassing.

Then came monkey-gate, the scandal where Volkswagen put actual medical research monkeys into chambers and force-fed them diesel exhaust, in a pseudo-scientific PR exercise, which ultimately worked brilliantly, if their aim were to identify themselves to the world as the immoral arseholes they truly are.

But this time, no gassing, sadly, proving (perhaps) that all good things come to an end. This time, the company has been caught with its lederhausen around its ankles, furiously exposing its engorged wedding vegetables to passing school busses - metaphorically - again. But without gas.

Let me explain.

Santa is reported to be furious this week, and the elves have been instructed immediately to unload the Veuve Cliquot and unwrap high-class hookers who were, until recently, bound for the Volkswagen boardroom this Christmas.

That’s how they like them: Bound.

That sounds OK. Can I have a job as Santa’s little helper? The Fat Man, reporting for hooker unwrapping duty. Keen to get started right away.

The morally questionable decision this time was to sell thousands of uncertifiable pre-production Volkswagen shitheaps to people still dumb enough to have those German cocks on their shopping list in 2018, in North America and Europe.

See, when a carmaker R&Ds a car, they make hundreds of prototypes - vehicles never designed to be registered, which are instead used for all kinds of internal testing and validation.

Der Speigel - a Teutonic newspaper - is reporting 6700 of these non-compliant prototypes have been illegally sold in both regions over the past decade.

This was quickly upgraded to 17,000 off the back of internal Volkswagen documentation, which has, predictably enough, come to light.

Strangely, for ze Chermans, there appear to be no record as to what is actually wrong with each fraudulently fobbed off, pre-production shitheap. They’re on the road now, however.

But of course the monkey spankers’ external relations bullshit machine is humming along. These cars aren’t illegal, it seems. According to Volkswagen communications shitheads, they just have (quote) “unclear construction status”.

That’s like saying Monica wasn’t giving Bill Oval Office blowjobs - their pants-down interaction just had ‘unclear intercourse status’.

So, the monkey spankers began secretly selling these non-compliant shitheaps to dealers in 2006, and ze Cherman press is reporting this week’s Volkswagen Group boss, Herbert Diess, knew all about it in 2016, but spent two years playing pocket billiards on the issue (metaphorically) before coming clean in 2018.

How friggin’ cathartic that must have been.

Of course, just like cheating emissions laws and gassing monkeys (and falling over in the sauna and landing in the boss’s personal assistant) selling non-compliant shitheaps is something you simply cannot do by accident.

So it’ll be interesting to see who gets thrown under the bus this time.
Another self-inflicted wound [LOOK DOWN] down there, for those Volkswagen mother-lovers, and just in time for Christmas (yesssss!).

And the happy new year outlook appears to include a fresh new round of government fines and class action lawsuits from aggrieved owners.

The shareholders might not agree, therefore, that it is the season to be jolly.
 

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Former Ford executives sentenced in factory worker torture case | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpertTV


Published on Dec 18, 2018
Two former executives at Ford have just been convicted of state sanctioned employee torture.

Two ageing former Ford executives have been sentenced to 10 and 12 years for the kidnapping and torture of 24 factory workers at a Ford plant outside Argentina’s capital, Buenos Aires.

And you thought your job sucked.

The guilty shitheads, Pedro Muller and Hector Sibila provided the military with lists, addresses and photo IDs of the targeted workers, and even made space for an onsite illegal detention centre where the unlucky abductees could be interrogated.

A lawyer for the plaintiffs - mainly children of the disappeared, seeing as the offences date back to the mid-1970s - said the majority of victims were (quote) “kidnapped right off the assembly line”.

This created an atmosphere of general terror in the workplace - understandably, I would argue - as well as acting as a disincentive to become a shop steward or other union representative.

Additionally, it seems, not too many complaints in respect of working conditions were received by HR, during that period, I’m told.

As if being tortured wasn’t already a sufficiently unpalatable dose of high voltage to the nuts, the kidnapped workers were immediately fired by Ford, sometimes while they were still being tortured onsite.

After that they were removed to prison, where the fun continued, typically for months to years.

The lawyer for the good guys went on:

“It is clear that Ford Motor Company had control of the Argentinian subsidiary during the 70s. Therefore, there is a direct responsibility of Ford Motor Company and that might give us the possibility to bring the case to the US courts.”

That’s part of a statement he issued to the Reuters news agency. The prosecution also alleged that Ford (quote) acted in a co-ordinated manner with the military.

Obviously the bullshitters at Ford are pedalling hard. Ford Argentina apparently said what an ace job they were doing cooperating with authorities - it was probably the same bullshit media statement they issued in 1975.

Hijos Capital, an organisation representing the children of the victims, said:

“Ford is an example of civilian-military state terrorism operations.”

It’s taken so long to string these two pricks up, officially, because of Argentina’s on-again/off-again relationship with human rights violations in the intervening time.

The real kick in the testicles here is: although the sentences are somewhat severe, the two guilty Ford Executive arseholes are now aged 86 and 90 - so the court has determined it’s reasonable for them to serve their sentences under house arrest.

As if being aged 86 or 90 weren’t already a de facto form of home detention.

I would have just connected the electrodes and come back in a few days to see how they were getting on. In a space with sufficient chairs for the children of the victims to watch. Fuck them. How does their age diminish their sins, or mitigate the harshness of a proportionate sentence? I’m just channeling my inner Old Testament.

To paraphrase Martin Luther King Junior: The moral arc of the universe is long, but for carmakers like Ford it bends towards the most sociopathic behaviour you think you can get away with.

Look me in the eye and tell me that’s bullshit.
 

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When recalls ain't recalls (we call them service campaigns) | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpertTV


Published on Dec 18, 2018
This Q&A is inspired by a viewer named Paul:

"I have a 2015 Kia Optima, bought second hand Feb 17. Long story short: engine light came on, took it to the dealer and found out there are three outstanding recalls. I was never contacted about these. All updates were done but the check engine light was still on.

"They recommended an injector, intake, and throttle body clean for $378, and now the car is operating normally. Why was I not informed of these updates and why didn’t my VIN show any pending recalls on the Kia Shitville website? I’m very annoyed that Kia has withheld this info because I get the vehicle serviced somewhere else." - Paul

OK - so these don’t sound like recalls to me; they sound like service campaigns. There’s a difference. Bear in mind this answer pertains to the way the car industry does business here in Shitsville. In other regions, your mileage may vary.

Recalls here in Shitsville are publicly listed by the corporate regulator on the ACCC’s website. Go to ProductSafety.gov.au then click on ‘products’ then ‘cars’ and search by brand.

Recalls are only for serious safety defects here. The recalls process is overwhelmingly voluntary in Arse-trailia, and although there are exceptions, generally the process works quite well.

Manufacturers always cop a reputational hit when they issue a recall, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to kick them long and hard in the slats over it. They’re getting out in front of potential problems and putting your safety before their reputations, generally. Credit where it’s due.
But recalls are not the only fix there is for manufacturing defects.

Service campaigns are essentially the same thing, only for non-safety defects that manufacturers identify and fix. Typically these get done under the radar (without communicating with owners). The rectification work - including parts or new firmware - is carried out during a service by the dealer. They might tell you about it, or not.

If you don’t get your car serviced by an authorised dealer, which is entirely OK, and absolutely your prerogative this aspect of updating the vehicle just doesn’t happen.

However, if you are in this situation, you can always go to any dealership and ask if there are any active service campaigns on your vehicle. All you need is the VIN code.

If they identify any outstanding service campaigns, they’ll do the work for free. Don’t feel guilty about doing any of this - it’s not like you’ve been cheating on them and you’re asking them to get back together.
They’re not actually doing it free - they send the parent carmaker a bill for the work. So the dealer is absolutely getting paid.

It’s not as lucrative as a retail repair job for a customer, but it pays their bills. Just like warranty claims - any suggestion that the dealer is doing this as a favour, for you, for free, altruistically, is total bullshit.
In so far as I can tell there’s no ‘withholding of information’ relating to this issue. You lobbed at the dealership, they identified those service campaigns and they implemented them at no cost to you, and they also fixed the problem that caused you to darken their door in the first place, on the first try, so that’s nice.

If there were a recall (a product safety recall, as opposed to a service campaign) then Kia Australia would write to you directly, and it would be listed on the ACCC’s official recalls website.

I just checked for you, and there have been no recalls for 2015 Optima. There was one for the 2016 model - but that was for a potential driveshaft issue.

So I think it’s pretty safe to conclude we’re talking about resolving a series of outstanding service campaigns here.

So the big takeout here is: If you get your car serviced externally, independently, then once a year, ring the service department at your local authorised dealer with the VIN handy and ask them about outstanding service campaigns.

Book the car in for surgery if the test results are positive. And if you buy a used car, ask about service campaigns in the same way, and make sure the manufacturer knows you own that car. You can do that online via the manufacturer’s website.

That way, they can communicate with you if they issue a recall. And, I think we can all agree, that’s kind of important. A lot of people don’t do that when they buy a used car.
 

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Don't Ever Sell Your Car to Your Mechanic - Lehto's Law Ep. 5.112
Steve Lehto


Published on Mar 6, 2019
Seems kind of specific but I've heard this one a few times. Car breaks down and the mechanic says it's not worth fixing - but he'll buy it from you!

http://www.lehtoslaw.com
 

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Carmaker CEO salaries are out of control in 2019 (plus nuts - yesssss!) | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpertTV


Published on Mar 23, 2019
Slim Jim Hackett - the 65-year-old former office furniture bigwig who stepped up into the Ford engine room, when the board (and by ‘board’ I mean the Ford family) pureed Mark Fields, you remember that…

...anyway, Slim Jim earned $US17.8 million last year. That’s about $25 million Shitsvillian micropesos. More than enough for a good time with your trousers on.

Hackett’s pay jumped six per cent. Ford’s profits dropped by more than 50 per cent and the share price tanked about 40 per cent.

If $18 million - near enough - is what you get for dropping the ball, what’s the bonus for actually succeeding?

So, to put this in perspective, Hackett’s pay is about $50,000 a day (US) (times 365 days - it’s that kind of gig - he’s on call). Which is, incidentally, 276 times greater than the $64,000 a year median Ford worker’s pay.

You could look at this another way: If the year starts on a Monday, by about half past 10 on Tuesday morning, Hackett has made more than you will all year, if you’re that average Ford worker.

Does that seem reasonable? Is anyone worth that? I mean, his duties are fairly straightforward: Slash jobs, close plants, exit the North American sedan market, drop $11 billion on restructuring and lose just over half a billion in China (and that was just in the last quarter of 2018).

Still, $25 million, to drive a sinking ship to the bottom of the Marianas trench. Does that seem reasonable to you? Is anyone actually worth that? Let me know in the comments feed below.

Speaking of CEOs - Carlos Ghosn, boss of the Renault, Nissan Mitsubishi train wreck: I was uplifted to see him skulk out of Big House in Tokyo, where he’d been domiciled for three or four months, earlier this month.

Ghosn is accused of under-reporting his financial compensation, and shifting his personal losses back onto the Nissan books. That’s fairly naughty in Japan. He faces 15 years if convicted, which, at 65, let’s face it, is tantamount to a life sentence.

The Japanese have a 99 per cent conviction rate of indicted persons, but bail is uncommon in Japan, so perhaps this case is not really a slam-dunk.

Interestingly, the alliance Ghosn presided over forms the biggest carmaking consortium on earth. (One in nine cars, employing 450,000 people.) Ghosn makes about the same as the blue oval’s Slim Jimbo Hackett, of whom we spoke in such fond terms just moments ago.
Let’s call ‘em both tied at US$17 million.

Mary Barra, who heads up GM - possibly the largest moral burden in the industry this side of Volkswagen - makes almost US$22 million. She’s on top, car industry CEO pay-wise.

The boss of Daimler makes just under US$10 million. Peasant.
I can’t find Herbert Diess’s pay (he’s the current holder of the Volkswagen poisoned chalice). But his predecessor Matthias Muller made about $8.3 million, and Martin Winterkorn was about the same before exiting the company’s anus at 30,000 feet, shortly before dieselgate splashdown.

Akio Toyoda - one guess which company he heads up - he makes just under US$2 million. And that’s far more typical for the automotive bigwigs in the land of the rising sun.

There’s two narratives on Ghosn: A) He’s a greedy, megalomaniacal bastard who rode roughshod over Japanese law to enrich himself in the manner of a James Bond villain (almost)...

...or B) It’s all a big, smelly conspiracy at Nissan headquarters, abetted by the Nipponese government (they’ve been publicly scathing about Ghosn’s pay in the past).

Japanese national pride has been kicked in the testes heavily because essentially the Frogs ate Nissan. And I wouldn’t discound how deeply this insult is felt at the highest levels there.
See, they really hate it that Renault owns 43 per cent of Nissan - that’s the shot-calling, controlling stake - and Ghosn was the architect of that quasi-takeover. So he’s really been walking around with a glass of Henri Laurent in one hand and a target on his back ever since.

So I guess the Japanese court will really - apart from setting the course of the rest of Ghosn’s life - also tell us for sure whether Nissan is really still Japanese, or just a hollow French subsidiary, philosophically.
 

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Ex-Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn charged with fraud in Germany | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpert TV


Published on Apr 15, 2019
Former top Volkswagen arsehole, Martin Winterkorn, has finally been charged with fraud in Germany. Yesssssssss!

Winterkorn, the former Volkswagen CEO, relates to Dieselgate the way Darth Vader relates to the Death Star. He abandoned ship minutes before Luke fired those fateful photon torpedoes up the Death Star’s arse, by resigning tactically in 2015, and he’s spent the intervening three-and-a-half years - I dunno - washing his bratwurst over and over in a hot tub full of Veuve Cliquot.

...and by that I mean he’s been doing whatever the hell he wants, because he’s worth untold millions, in the time-honoured manner of a German industro-rock star, and he basically basically had the rat cunning to run out of the burning building at exactly the Goldilocks time.

The only thing Herr Winterkorn can not do is travel to a country that extradites the accused to the USA, where he would face similar criminal fraud charges. Because he is currently under indictment there for what the SEC calls a (quote) “massive fraud”.

But Germany does not extradite its ctizens, sadly. Not even the arseholes. Especially not them, when you think about it.

The current crop of Senior Volkswagen dickheads are ‘no commenting’ all over town about this spate of new charges, of course. Well done there. Excellent contingency planning in the PR department. “We just didn’t see it coming, boss.”

Winterkorn and four other un-named senior Volkswagen scumbags are now charged with fraud in Germany. Prosecutors currently have not named the other four.

The public prosecutor in Un-pronounceable-schweig described Winterkorn’s alleged fraud as (quote) “particularly serious” and, if convicted, he is looking down the barrel of 10 years in ze Cherman slammer. No hot tubs there. At least, none you’d get into willingly.

Pretty confronting, I’d suggest, for a 71-year-old who could pay someone to wipe his arse with silk for the rest of his life without worrying about the bill.

Volkswagen’s current CEO, Herbert Diess (and he’s a real step down, in my view - straight from Master Race central casting) he told the BBC this month that VW was (quote) “over the worst”.

And, ‘the worst’ probably refers to the $44 billion dollars (that’s in Shitsvillian micro-dollars) that dieselgate has cost the company, so far.

Diess a guy who should never - never - open his trap in public. (Personal opinion.) I’d go further on this. Diess is a goose who should be scripted at all times in public (personal opinion).

On this “over the worst” bullshit, I’d be more inclined to believe the 52-year-old chick on the Volkswagen board heading up the company’s integrity division, Hiltrud Werner. What a filthy job - the classic poisoned boardroom chalice.

Boardroom full of German arseholes, and they handed it to a woman. That was in February 2017.

Ms Werner is the one Volkswagen board member to whom I would give the benefit of the doubt. She told the Beeb, just over a month ago, that 2019 would be Volkswagen’s (quote) “most difficult year” ever.

So, finger on the pulse there, Herbert Diess. As fricken usual. No unified hymn book at Volkswagen, clearly. Clock on the boardroom wall: Still ‘anything goes’ o’clock.

Can you imagine what humanity could achieve by dumping $44 billion into … anything. Alternative energy. Engineering R&D. Thorium reactor development. Brain cancer research. Poverty. Famine. Hunger.

The list of humanity’s hurdles, which you cannot surmount with $44 billion is pretty small.

And those Volkswagen arseholes just squandered it - because they took the decision that gaming the system was better than complying with it.
I’ll leave you with this: Voltaire. You’ve probably heard of him. Real name Francios-Marie Arouet. Prolific writer. 17th Century French satirist, philosopher and freedom of speech champion. He once said, famously, that every man is guilty of the good he fails to do.

You might want to think about that. It’s pretty clever. I’ve been guilty of that, more than once. Perhaps you have, too.

I’d suggest Volkswagen is the biggest automotive disgrace on the Voltaire ‘good-failure-guilt’ scale that you are ever likely to see. That company deserves ongoing global opprobrium.

And Winterkorn was the captain of that filthy ship, during the company’s most reprehensible voyage. So it will be interesting indeed to see if the German legal apparatus is powerful enough to dismantle his actions and take him down for what could easily be the rest of his life.

Without wanting to prejudice the course of justice there, I certainly hope that’s how it plays out.
 

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The truth about Bill Shorten's proposed electric car future | Auto Expert John Cadogan
AutoExpert TV


Published on Apr 16, 2019
Bill Shorten, channeling his inner halfwit, is making sweeping generalisations about the grand plan for half of all cars sold to be EVs by 2030. That’s 11 years off. The current electoral term is three years. The attention span of the electorate: Three minutes.

There will be another 15 prime ministers between now and then, if history repeats.

When confronted by intellectual heavyweight Jackie O, on radio recently, Shorten stammered through an assessment that you could charge an EV in eight minutes.

This is the guy who would be prime minister and is leveraging his pitch to you to be that guy by changing the landscape of Australian transportation.

He’s the guy who sideswiped his mum’s Mitsubishi into two parked cars after spilling a short black in his lap. Now, if that happened when he was young, dumb and full of cum I could forgive that. Just about. But this mishap occurred in 2015. He was leader of the opposition.

And is was a short black - so provided he was wearing pants the burns were probably survivable. Clearly not an automotive mastermind.

I’d really like Mr Shorten to show me the eight-minute recharger. I really would. Minutes, hours … tomaeto, tomato. At least he’s not speaking to God in the verbal equivalent of an epileptic fit.

Every second journalist on earth is lapping up the fact that Norway has 50 per cent EV sales currently. I suspect this context-free soundbite is in the Shorten press pack.

You know: If the friggin Norwegians can do it, so can we. National pride.

Couple of points on that: It’s not 50 per cent EV sales. It’s 50 per cent EVs and hybrids. And hybrids. You know, like the friggin’ Prius. With an internal combustion engine and regenerative braking. So there’s that. It’s less than 50 per cent EVs. But still impressive and world-leading.

Norway’s EV success is easy to understand: It’s the carrot and the stick. Punitive levels of taxation are imposed on fuel and car ownership for conventional cars. EV owners get free kicks.

There are no import or purchase taxes for EVs. EVs are also exempt from the 25 per cent VAT (which is like our 10 per cent GST). No road taxes, no tolls, half price on ferries, free parking in cities - and they can use the bus lanes.

That’s the two-pronged key to making EVs successful. Whip conventional car owners; and free blow jobs for those who buy EVs. This is the reality in Norway. If you pay $50k for a conventional car in Norway, it’s e-stablemate is more likely to be about $40,000.

So, would you buy an EV if it was $10k cheaper, if got you free parking, sidestepped the tolls and it got you into the bus lanes. I sure as shit would. So this is an outrageous level of artificial market incentivisation. It’s an inversion of everywhere else on earth - and it’s funded by conventional car owners, who are paying the big bucks to offset the incentives.

And Norway’s electricity is green - let’s not forget that. Ours is filthy.

Our dependence on coal-fired electricity is an international disgrace. It’s the biggest CO2 emitter by far. 180 million tonnes (12 months to September 2018). Stationary energy is next - let’s call that what it is: heat and energy for industrial processes. 102 million tonnes.

Next: Transport. Unfortunately, fuckwith journalists reporting on this routinely conflate ‘transport’ with ‘car’ conveniently. Ignorantly. ‘Transport’ means all transport, you imbecile reporters. Trains, trucks, planes, boats. 101 million tonnes.

According to the Climate Council, cars are about 46 per cent of transport emissions. Let’s call it half. About 50 million tonnes.

Of course, you really should add fugitive emissions (that’s emissions from hydrocarbon exploitation, basically - mostly coal) to electricity. And if you do that you get about 60 million more tonnes of CO2, for a total of about 240 million tonnes.

So the filthy grid is about half of Australia’s total emissions. Cars are about nine per cent. Conclusion: Why are these two equally worthless potential prime-ministerial fucktards engaged in a war of words that is A) inconsequential, and B) just a thought experiment - when they should be tackling the big problem, which is our disgracefully Dickensian electricity grid?

Why is the media not calling them out on it? Why are there no engineers and scientists engaged in this debate - because these are the only people I know with the training and the intellectual grunt to dissect these somewhat complex issues.

Finally, I know how to make EVs successful in Australia: You just look at Norway and do that. Just double the tax on petrol and diesel. Make the GST on conventional cars 25 per cent. Eliminate it on EVs. Add some sweeteners - zero tolls for EV owners. Let’s do that. It works in Norway.