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In the MOOD for a STORY from the OLDEN DAYS. - UNCA WALT/ TAEZZAR?

newmisty

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#1
Any old timers care to spin us a tale?
 

Fatrat

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Well glass soda bottles were all we had and there was a 2 cent deposit on them, I used to collect the bottles for the deposit and buy quarts of milk for 25 cents...time were tough back then.
 

GOLDZILLA

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I remember when me and hunting partner Ugg was out spearing wolly mammoths and big boom come from sky ! We call it fire.
 

newmisty

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I remember when me and hunting partner Ugg was out spearing wolly mammoths and big boom come from sky ! We call it fire.
Pics from your cell or it didn't happen! :p
 

GOLDBRIX

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Early in the morning about midnight, Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other. Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to arrest the two dead boys.
If you don't think this story is true just ask the blind man. He saw it too.
 

michael59

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Early in the morning about midnight, Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other. Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to arrest the two dead boys.
If you don't think this story is true just ask the blind man. He saw it too.
I remember it like this:
One dark night
in the middle of the day
two dead boys came out to play
back to back
they faced each other
pulled out their knives
and shot each other
the deaf policeman heard their cries
and came and killed
the two dead guys
If youthink my story
is not true ask the blind man
he saw it too.

yes those were the days, the days of free range children, the days of going to the pay phone to make that call and the days of "Dammit Michael go to bee's and get a cup of sugar."
 

GOLDZILLA

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I can also tell you they got tyrannosaurus rex all wrong too. It was really big wussy compared to brontosaurus. Me and thad bag them by throwing rock at bronto and it turn around see t rex standing there blame it for rock and kill for us. Since it only eat plant we wait until leave then eat t rex.
 

newmisty

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I can also tell you they got tyrannosaurus rex all wrong too. It was really big wussy compared to brontosaurus. Me and thad bag them by throwing rock at bronto and it turn around see t rex standing there blame it for rock and kill for us. Since it only eat plant we wait until leave then eat t rex.
lol "blame it for rock" got me. lmao
 

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#10
When I was younger... For some time, maybe a year or two, on my walk to school, someone had put up a rope swing that went across a deep cutout. My friends and I would stop there for a time after school, swinging across the "giant pussy". Cheap fun.
 

TAEZZAR

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1962 I was studying Architecture. Our teacher was also a local contractor/real-estate man. He told us that we should buy land around Santa Ana/Orange County Airport, John Wayne Airport to the new comers. He said it was going to be the business & manufacturing hub of Orange County. I went home & told my father about it. He said "son, you might buy it for your children, but I will never see the day that that airport area will be worth a damn."
Dad lived until 1986. He saw it in it's full glory. :shit happens:
 

michael59

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1962 I was studying Architecture. Our teacher was also a local contractor/real-estate man. He told us that we should buy land around Santa Ana/Orange County Airport, John Wayne Airport to the new comers. He said it was going to be the business & manufacturing hub of Orange County. I went home & told my father about it. He said "son, you might buy it for your children, but I will never see the day that that airport area will be worth a damn."
Dad lived until 1986. He saw it in it's full glory. :shit happens:
Capture.PNG


Imagine that f'n santa anna is now all the way down west of saddle back..... People Orange county airport aka John Wayne airport is nowhere near sant anna....F what a hoot.
 

newmisty

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GOLDBRIX

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1962 I was studying Architecture. Our teacher was also a local contractor/real-estate man. He told us that we should buy land around Santa Ana/Orange County Airport, John Wayne Airport to the new comers. He said it was going to be the business & manufacturing hub of Orange County. I went home & told my father about it. He said "son, you might buy it for your children, but I will never see the day that that airport area will be worth a damn."
Dad lived until 1986. He saw it in it's full glory. :shit happens:
TRUE STORY : I landed at John Wayne back in the mid-late '80s. As I was walking to Baggage Claim I literally bumped into Joe DiMaggio's entourage and almost Joe himself. I apologized as I was looking at the Life-size brass statute of "The Duke" while walking, and not paying attention to my surroundings.
What struck me of our brief encounter was his size. I always imagined him taller than what he actual was.

No, I did not ask for a Mr. Coffee coupon or an autograph.
 

GOLDZILLA

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#16
And history got everything wrong. They say the universe was created by a big bang, when it was actually created by a gang bang. I know --I was invited. Believe me, mars saturn and jupiter were pivoting around the sun long before it farted out the earth.
 

Zed

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And history got everything wrong. They say the universe was created by a big bang, when it was actually created by a gang bang. I know --I was invited. Believe me, mars saturn and jupiter were pivoting around the sun long before it farted out the earth.
You just NASTY old man. :Yuck: o_O :p
 

hammerhead

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Joe Garagiola was attending mass when the San Marco parish was located in a conference room at the Marriott. When it came time to shake hands, he told my next youngest brother that if he didn't settle down, he wouldn't make peace with him.
 

Unca Walt

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Well glass soda bottles were all we had and there was a 2 cent deposit on them, I used to collect the bottles for the deposit and buy quarts of milk for 25 cents...time were tough back then.

Fatrat --

My darling bride of LO! these last sixty years and Himself actually went around vacant lots, picking up deposit bottles until we had 18c to buy a quart of milk.

I was not out of a job. I was being paid with an eagle-shit check: $31 every two weeks -- from Uncle Sam. That was GI pay back then. TINS, Pilgrims.
 

Unca Walt

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I dunno if this will even copy... I found an old article I wrote for a magazine a long time ago. Still relevant today, no error!

Here goes:

It’s Perfectly Oblivious To Me

©Walt C. Snedeker



I have met some uncharitable types from time to time, and some of them have told me that the only reason that I am not pretty stupid is my face. There just may be a tiny kernel of truth in there, somewhere. I say this because as I sit here, I am dressed in woolens from neck to toe-tips. There would be nothing strange in that, except for the fact that the August sun outside is shining brilliantly, and the temperature here in South Florida is hovering in the low 90’s.

So why the wool, you ask? Pshaw, Gentle Reader. The temperature inside my humble abode is an arctic 71 degrees. That is only 39 degrees above the freezing point of water. Of course, the relative humility is somewhere around 20 percent, so that makes it colder yet. With the overhead fans on (and they are) the wind-chill factor brings the ambient temperature of our living quarters to a reasonable imitation of a cool day on Mars.

It seems the Fabled PC likes it “to be comfortable” in the summer. I’ve just now gotten finished whining, I mean, discussing the problem with my dainty bride, and I am still at a loss.

And I know better than to sneak the thermostat up above freezing.

I tried the direct approach first: snuggling up to my sweetie, I placed my cold nose on her neck, and nuzzled her romantically.

“Yech!” she leapt away like a startled deer, “Hey, you -- if that’s your name, keep your frozen proboscis offa my alabaster skin, willya?” PC sometimes has a way with words.

“Sorry, love. It’s just that it’s so cold in here.”

“It’s not cold.”

I reached for my hot chocolate, but my numb fingers didn’t work right, and the cup spilled on the kitchen floor. PC was sympathetic.

“First day with your new hands?”

Seeing that I had casually moved over to stand with my bare feet in the spilled hot chocolate, she gave me a Number Six Look.

“It’s not cold. I’ve been working. In fact, it’s hot in here.”

I tried the best stratagem I knew. I’d already gotten the cold nose ploy in play, and now it was time for the frozen foot tactic. I dried off the chocolate, and offered a foot.

“Feel how cold my feet are.”

But the Fabled PC was more than up to it. She had the most devastating answer conceivable:

“Don’t tell me about your frozen feet. It’s summertime. Anybody who walks around the house barefoot in the summertime deserves to get frozen feet!”

Again, Gentle Reader, I must point out that those of us that are married to members of that curious sub-race (redheads) are guided by some contrary rules.

The obvious difficulty of coming up with a reasonable reply to that last statement can be readily appreciated.

There was an interesting aspect of the truth to my beautiful bride’s argument. She claimed that she was hot because she was working. The work she was doing, by the way, was not something you would expect from a fluffy bundle of red-haired pulchritude. She had been working with a noisy compressor-water spraying device thingy which she had rented.

She’d been splashing and blowing and chugging the patio screen, chattahoochee deck, and outside furniture with this rented monster for a couple of hours now, while I had been improving my mind watching some Saturday afternoon television.

And my feet were cold.

“You’re watching one of those silly fishing programs, aren’t you.” PC gestured at the two guys in a jonboat on the screen. “I bet that guy is going to throw that big fish right back in the water, right?”

She must have seen this program before, I thought to myself. But I watched her sigh (nice effect, that) and turn her shapely self around to go back outside into the nice, warm 90-degree sunshine.

I am fortunate in that I seem to have an enormous capacity for absorbing guilt. This is handy if you happen to be married to a saint. Lesser men might have been tempted to go outside and at least labor along side of their spouses, if not even take over the job outright.

I’m proud to say I can rise above such things.

The only problem that I see is that the Fabled PC cranked the air conditioning down a few more degrees before she went outside, and I think that now I may have some trouble typing with mittens on.
 

GOLDBRIX

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#21
^^^^^^^^^^^
THAT was GREAT Unca. :dduck: :blond: :laughing:
 

GOLDBRIX

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This middle aged man goes to the doctor for a physical. "You are in excellent shape for man in his 50s." the doc said. "Who said I am in my 50s ? I am 63 years old." the man replied.
"Well, you have good genes. How old was your dad when he died." doc asked.
"Who said he was dead. He is alive and well at 83." the man replied back.
" Well then, How old was your grandfather when he died ?" asked the doctor.
"WHO said he was dead ? He's 103 years old and getting married tomorrow." was the response.
"WOW!" said the doctor " Why does he want to get married at 103 "?
The man sez " Who said he WANTED TOO"?
 

ArkWv

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Spin? There was a rich kid down the road that got a new Schwinn bike for Christmas. He showed it off to all of us kids and took them for a ride on the handle bars. Everybody but me (we hated each other). I fixed his ass with an old mop handle, hid in the bushes and slung it right threw the front spokes. He crashed his bike and boy did it spin, ass end over the front.
Worst ass whoopin' I ever got, from my dad who had to pay for it.
That bike was about 2 weeks wages out of my dads pocket. Two years later he bought a Schwinn and someone stole it.
 

michael59

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#25
I knew it, I just knew it walt...U have a fan! He uses that same expression of "gentle reader." https://statelymcdanielmanor.wordpress.com/

read on because I just knew I had read that expression before. sednecker ahahahah poop and, you used to publish in field and stream? and, always the last article in which one had to backpedal into the main pages to finish the story? I am sure it is you and on the off chance I am wrong which could be a reality if you have it could you post the thing about...err,ummm...the story about narrow jeep trails, cigar cherries and know it all's?

hurry up I am holding my breath here!
 

michael59

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If that is you walt and I think it is then you are the reason the f'n reason when I was reading a book or a text book and I still do it to this day...ahahah… I f'n read the last page before I start the book...hahahah shit!
 

TAEZZAR

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View attachment 121388

Imagine that f'n santa anna is now all the way down west of saddle back..... People Orange county airport aka John Wayne airport is nowhere near sant anna....F what a hoot.
Excuse the fuzzy text, I had to reduce the photo a lot to get it to post.

OC Airport, area.png
 

michael59

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Yeah but get a load of this...Santa anna might house the county seat of Orange but it in no way like ever juts down to Tustin marine corps air base and The Duke air strip is south of Tustin. In case you have forgot:https://www.santa-ana.org/cm/city-council-ward-map

Look on that map and follow 'warner' west https://www.bing.com/search?q=city+...39c1f7d26f4fa82&cc=US&setlang=en-US&PC=HCTSto magnolia and flick a booger at ur screen and that is where I finished grade and high school:

yep It was fun days back then with the smog alerts and them santaanna winds....
 

TAEZZAR

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Tustin marine corps air base
Originally named LTA; Lighter Than Air, actually in Tustin. It was open to public business in the 1950's. I have been inside those 2 big blimp hangers. Also El Toro Marine Air Base was closed due to noise complaints from "new neighbors" !
magnolia and flick a booger at ur screen and that is where I finished grade and high school:
Alright !!! So you lived in Fountain Valley. It was called "Dairy City" prior to that. Costa Mesa was "Harper" & "Goat Hill" in it's earlier days.
 

newmisty

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I must say our Orygunians are a solid crew.
 

michael59

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Originally named LTA; Lighter Than Air, actually in Tustin. It was open to public business in the 1950's. I have been inside those 2 big blimp hangers. Also El Toro Marine Air Base was closed due to noise complaints from "new neighbors" !

Alright !!! So you lived in Fountain Valley. It was called "Dairy City" prior to that. Costa Mesa was "Harper" & "Goat Hill" in it's earlier days.
what would I know....I was forcefully moved there when I was nine. GO BARONS.....there got that out and suddenly I feel better.
 

TAEZZAR

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what would I know....I was forcefully moved there when I was nine. GO BARONS.....there got that out and suddenly I feel better.
I was forcefully moved FROM/OUTA there when I was nineteen. Well sorta. :gracious:
 

Unca Walt

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If that is you walt and I think it is then you are the reason the f'n reason when I was reading a book or a text book and I still do it to this day...ahahah… I f'n read the last page before I start the book...hahahah shit!
I found another one with Gentle Reader.

If'n it makes you feel any better, michael, authors have zerio, zip, naught, nil of any say in how their stories are published. Not only that, but EVERY magazine editor on Earth changes the author's title to his work.

Not only that, that, but this that: editors find it necessary to change something in any article.

I have a mahogany pen-holder that has a nice scene on it along with this engraving:

"No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft." -- H.G. Wells


Here's another one from The Olden Days. It was Hillary's first run. This article was bowdlerized and redacted nearly to the point of illegibility. This post has the original script (mine) and title. The published one was something like "Sunday Drivers".

Sometimes The Lord Really Provideth…

©Walt C. Snedeker


I’m really not a difficult person to get along with (despite the groan you hear in the background from the Fabled PC). I like little kids, and cats… and dogs, providing they look and act like Benjy. I even like to drive. The Fabled PC says that I like to drive because I run across so many interesting people. But let’s have a little soul-searching here – did you ever wish that you could fill some guy’s bagpipes with Wheatena?

I mean, how about that guy in the supermarket the other day. You know, that unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. The one with four hundred dollars worth of groceries that was constipating the fast checkout line, and he wouldn’t let you go first with your one measly quart of ice cream. Yeah. You remember him. He wrote a check in the “no checks” line. A two-party check from the Bank of Portugal. By the time you got through the line, the ice cream was dripping pretty freely.

Well, the world is full of politics at this time, and that makes people rather difficult. After all, 34% of the people who say they voted for Clinton think that Forrest Gump was a documentary. But I can tolerate them handily.

It is those who actively put my alabaster body at risk that truly tick me off. It is an actual documented fact (get ready, there aren’t many of them in these articles!) that 82% of the drivers out there think they are above average. This is really true. Among those who smoke, 97% think they are above average. Go figure.

So I was coming home the other day, driving along Route 441 in the driving rain. There was a car in front of me, one behind me (too darn close), and one to my right. The scary part was that the one to my right was peopled by an idiot.

Have you ever noticed just how many idiots seem to have driver’s licenses, and somehow acquire the gas to take their cars and go out cruising?

Well, as I was fairly tensely paying attention due to the driving rain, I was alert enough to be able to violently swerve my poor car just barely out of the way when the idiot to my right came winging into my lane.

I looked over at him.

And now, Gentle Reader, try to picture this: the guy was talking on the fargin phone. And he was waving his hands around as he was talking. Oblivious to the near accident he almost just had.

Big deal, you say? You’ve been there, done that, you say? Well, let me finish, willya? On top of the lunacy just mentioned, Idiot was lighting a cigarette – using box matches and both hands! He was waving his hands around so much, he looked like Marcel Marceau on crack.

So I sighed heavily, grabbed my heart from where it had come to rest on the top of the dashboard, and reswallowed it. Back to driving.

WHOA! YIKES!

Here he came again. Again, by the luckiest of coincidences, I was able to leave my lane to enter the grass centerline, and again miraculously avoid being hit by him.

Meanwhile, I could not speed up or slow down due to cars in my lane. Although by now I was beginning to think of it as “our” lane…

When he started to drift over for the third time, I blew a sharp series of blasts on my horn. Somehow, the noise got through his violent conversation, and he looked over at me. I gave him a pantomime of, “What. Are. You. Doing?!”

This, believe it or not, enraged him (perhaps he was near hysteria because of the phone call, but I am not sure). In any case, he actually threw the phone down in the seat next to him, mouthed a couple of words that I could not hear, but I could understand completely, and shot me what one might delicately term the “Hawaiian Good Luck Symbol”.

I politely pointed to my chest, and sort of dragged my finger forward, indicating that I would like to drive in that direction, right up the road. I made a similar gesture toward him to do likewise.

Well. That really did it. He began screaming and waving both arms (it was still raining fit to frighten Noah). Apparently steering his car was a very low priority on this day.

But then, the Good Lord stepped in and sorta leveled the playing field. Idiot got himself going really well, and suddenly turned his head to shove it out the window to scream at me better.

Ah, the pleasure! The window (it being a frog-strangling rainy afternoon) was, of course, securely wound up.

Idiot mashed his face into the window, and his cigarette mashed deeply into his nose. Oh, raptures!

No doubt, I will pay for the sin of glee at the sight of Idiot frantically pawing at his nostrils in the rain, trying to get his lit cigarette out of one of them. I even got a break in traffic at that point, but I stayed with Idiot, because I was really enjoying the show. I know I will smoke a turd in Purgatory for feeling as I did.

When I slowed down enough, I saw his Hillary Clinton bumper sticker. Hah! A full house! Smoking, doing phone jive, and wandering in the rain. He had to be in the 97 percentile of above average drivers, all right.

So I gave thanks that everything had come out even. But I wonder how Idiot was going to have to explain to everybody how and why he shoved a lit cigarette up his nose. I bet the story will be really creative… he’ll probably tell everybody about the idiot he ran into while he was driving.
 

newmisty

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He wrote a check in the “no checks” line. A two-party check from the Bank of Portugal.
I only got this far and had to stop to laugh!
 

newmisty

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I even got a break in traffic at that point, but I stayed with Idiot, because I was really enjoying the show. I know I will smoke a turd in Purgatory for feeling as I did.
You creative bastid you! Great writing as usual Unca. Actually thought I was on a highway in Fl for a minute!
:laughing:
 

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