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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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Have you ever wondered where the political terms "right & left" are derived from?

"The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left."
-- Ecclesiastes 10:2
 

Goldhedge

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Somedays, you just can't get rid of a bomb....

 

newmisty

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mtnman

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Weatherman

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It's cold enough to freeze the pom-poms off their fuzzy slippers.

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Krag

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“.. AND THAT’S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED” – HINTS TO END THAT CHANCE I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter took my order first. “I’ll have the rump steak, rare please. He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” “Nah, she can order for herself”..the fight started. <> My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man at a nearby table. “Do you know him?” “Yes, he’s my old boyfriend. He took to drinking after we split up and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.” “My God,” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”..the fight started. <> My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?” I said, “Dust.”..the fight started. <> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our anniversary. “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds.” “I bought her a bathroom scale”..then the fight started. <> My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible, I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment. I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”...then the fight started. <> I rear-ended a car this morning…the start of a really bad day. The driver got out of the other car and he was a Dwarf!!” He looked up at me and said, “I am not Happy!” So I said, “Well, which one ARE you then?” Then a fight started!
 

mtnman

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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newmisty

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A roadkill rapist, 2 platformed shoe'd mutants and a communist transgender politician walk into a bar...
 

engineear

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No seeds in todays pot!
I've been out of that loop for decades..no seeds...yeah, we used to pack a 1 hit bong but stuck a seed in the hole. When a new person came into the room they had to hit the bong and suck it all down. If you didn't complete the inhale and had a "blowout", you had to do another. With a seed planted...everyone did another.
Had a bong off between 2 bragging fools claiming to each other they could smoke more than the other. " I can do 3 in a row".."I can do 5, ya wuss!".. and so it began and before the night was through each had done 50..yes..50! EACH! They missed work 3 days in a row and weren't the same for about a week...so they said. They declined a rematch. Don't remember how many times we changed the water in that thing. Used ice, ice water, beer, pop,..name it, we tried it. Ever smoke a frozen apple? Hollow it out poke a hole, fill it and it is cool...really cool.
Many more stories of the late 60s, early 70s...if the band I was in hadn't broke up I'd just now be getting out of jail, been an alcoholic, a doper or dead. HE must have a reason for me being here. Still searching for it, waiting to hear HIS voice again...believe me...youll know.
 

newmisty

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I've been out of that loop for decades..no seeds...yeah, we used to pack a 1 hit bong but stuck a seed in the hole. When a new person came into the room they had to hit the bong and suck it all down. If you didn't complete the inhale and had a "blowout", you had to do another. With a seed planted...everyone did another.
Had a bong off between 2 bragging fools claiming to each other they could smoke more than the other. " I can do 3 in a row".."I can do 5, ya wuss!".. and so it began and before the night was through each had done 50..yes..50! EACH! They missed work 3 days in a row and weren't the same for about a week...so they said. They declined a rematch. Don't remember how many times we changed the water in that thing. Used ice, ice water, beer, pop,..name it, we tried it. Ever smoke a frozen apple? Hollow it out poke a hole, fill it and it is cool...really cool.
Many more stories of the late 60s, early 70s...if the band I was in hadn't broke up I'd just now be getting out of jail, been an alcoholic, a doper or dead. HE must have a reason for me being here. Still searching for it, waiting to hear HIS voice again...believe me...youll know.
Never out of a frozen apple but did smoke out of an apple on a chair lift many moons ago.
 

Goldhedge

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Ain't that the truth!
Many more stories.
thanks for the laughs.
Youth today don't realize we practically invented smoking pot...

Haven't touched it in years, but the memories... ah the memories still linger on... like a foggy morning with the sun softly glowing on the periphery...
 

newmisty

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mtnman

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I've been out of that loop for decades..no seeds...yeah, we used to pack a 1 hit bong but stuck a seed in the hole. When a new person came into the room they had to hit the bong and suck it all down. If you didn't complete the inhale and had a "blowout", you had to do another. With a seed planted...everyone did another.
Had a bong off between 2 bragging fools claiming to each other they could smoke more than the other. " I can do 3 in a row".."I can do 5, ya wuss!".. and so it began and before the night was through each had done 50..yes..50! EACH! They missed work 3 days in a row and weren't the same for about a week...so they said. They declined a rematch. Don't remember how many times we changed the water in that thing. Used ice, ice water, beer, pop,..name it, we tried it. Ever smoke a frozen apple? Hollow it out poke a hole, fill it and it is cool...really cool.
Many more stories of the late 60s, early 70s...if the band I was in hadn't broke up I'd just now be getting out of jail, been an alcoholic, a doper or dead. HE must have a reason for me being here. Still searching for it, waiting to hear HIS voice again...believe me...youll know.
I remember those old days... 50 bong hits of todays pot would put you under the table for a day or two! Back then you were lucky to get 5% to 8% thc pot, today 20% is the norm and the good stuff is 25%. Nope, I don't miss that shit, full of seeds and stems, that came from Mexico.
 

engineear

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full of seeds and stems, that came from Mexico.
"no stems , no seeds that you don't need....Acapulco gold is some bad ass weed..."

There's a medical pot store on a corner near here. Small waiting room and on the wall is a flat screen with all the choices, prices and THC content.
on the back wall is a window with 3-4 people looking at computers...a small room. The wall with the flat screen has a door to go through to get your selection. I didn't go in but glanced in when a purchaser came out. Looked like a head shop of olde...glass displays and such. No black lights or posters or patchouli oil stink stuff. It was busy and this was on a Sunday. Busy through out the week.
You first must see a doctor, about $150 to tell him your neck hurts, your finger hurts, a MAGA hat triggered you and your inner most shakra is blocked...pick something. (this place will give you a list of docs to see) He deems you worthy of the "medication" and its good for a year.
IIRC it's all good, potent stuff but pricey. Ounces of the uber THC stuff were over $250. I need to go back in for more accurate pricing. Heck, pounds back in the day weren't much more than that and the better stuff was around $400. Born to soon.