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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

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"no stems , no seeds that you don't need....Acapulco gold is some bad ass weed..."

There's a medical pot store on a corner near here. Small waiting room and on the wall is a flat screen with all the choices, prices and THC content.
on the back wall is a window with 3-4 people looking at computers...a small room. The wall with the flat screen has a door to go through to get your selection. I didn't go in but glanced in when a purchaser came out. Looked like a head shop of olde...glass displays and such. No black lights or posters or patchouli oil stink stuff. It was busy and this was on a Sunday. Busy through out the week.
You first must see a doctor, about $150 to tell him your neck hurts, your finger hurts, a MAGA hat triggered you and your inner most shakra is blocked...pick something. (this place will give you a list of docs to see) He deems you worthy of the "medication" and its good for a year.
IIRC it's all good, potent stuff but pricey. Ounces of the uber THC stuff were over $250. I need to go back in for more accurate pricing. Heck, pounds back in the day weren't much more than that and the better stuff was around $400. Born to soon.
That oz for $250 is about average. But it will last you all month! It's much cheaper to grow your own. Walmart has everything but the seeds to start growing indoors. It's not in the store but it's on the web site. Seed can be gotten here: https://www.cannabis-seeds-bank.co.uk/
 
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mtnman

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"no stems , no seeds that you don't need....Acapulco gold is some bad ass weed..."

There's a medical pot store on a corner near here. Small waiting room and on the wall is a flat screen with all the choices, prices and THC content.
on the back wall is a window with 3-4 people looking at computers...a small room. The wall with the flat screen has a door to go through to get your selection. I didn't go in but glanced in when a purchaser came out. Looked like a head shop of olde...glass displays and such. No black lights or posters or patchouli oil stink stuff. It was busy and this was on a Sunday. Busy through out the week.
You first must see a doctor, about $150 to tell him your neck hurts, your finger hurts, a MAGA hat triggered you and your inner most shakra is blocked...pick something. (this place will give you a list of docs to see) He deems you worthy of the "medication" and its good for a year.
IIRC it's all good, potent stuff but pricey. Ounces of the uber THC stuff were over $250. I need to go back in for more accurate pricing. Heck, pounds back in the day weren't much more than that and the better stuff was around $400. Born to soon.
FFFB.jpg
 

Goldhedge

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JayDubya

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Teacher asks her class, "If there's 14 crows on a fence and you shoot 2 off, how many are left ?"

One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away."

Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking."

Boy says to teacher, "I have a question for you." "There's 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 is licking, 1 is sucking, 1 is biting. Which one is married?"

Teacher answers (slightly embarrassed), "I imagine it's the one sucking."

Boy says, "No, it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way your thinking !"
 

engineear

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Waiter in a greasy spoon diner brings a guy the hamburger he ordered. The guy looks at it and sees a hair on it. "Hey, this has a hair on it," he yells. "Oh, "sorry the waiter says. "The chef sometimes puts the ball of meat under his arm then squeezes it flat". "That's disgusting "the guy screams! "I suppose "the waiter replies..."you should see how he makes donuts!"
 

engineear

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During the building of the Alakan Pipeline guys would work 7 days a week for a month then be flown into a podunk town for fun. Guy runs up to the bar and says "I need a bottle of whiskey and a woman..NOW!!" The bartender says "here's the whiskey but we have no women here, but we do have Wong, the chinaman." Guy yells"nah, I don't for that shit", and proceeds to get drunk.
Another month goes by, flies in...whiskey/woman NOW...No women/got whiskey/ but we do have Wong, the chinaman...nah, I don't go for that shit.
After 4 months of this the guy is growing horns, needs a release. Flies in...need a woman/whiskey NOW. The bartender says ""look, here's the booze, NO WOMEN, WE HAVE WONG THE CHINAMAM!!!" Guys thinkin...." man, I don't go for that shit...been a long time though...all right..how much is Wong, the chinaman?" The bartender doesn't bat an eye and says "$2200!" "WHAT" he bellows..."why so much?" Bartender says "you see those two big guys next to Wong?"..the guy nods..."well, they each get $1000". The guy asks "why do get so much and Wong gets so little?"
The bartender says "they hold Wong down, he don't go for that shit either!"
 
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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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mtnman

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TAEZZAR

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I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, "Yes, you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?"​
The drunk replied, "’Cause you're ugly."​
 

newmisty

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newmisty

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engineear

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Man with no arms convinces the priest he can be the bell ringer by running toward the bell and leaping into it and hitting it with his face. BONG!! Since the priest did not get any other takers from the want ad, he hires him. Everything goes well for weeks. The man is always on time and loves his new job. One Sunday he's climbing up the 4 flights of stairs to his target and becomes a little winded, is a little tired. It's time to ring the bell. He stands back, starts his run and just before he gets to leap he trips on a board and flies over the bell, out the archway and falls 4 stories to the ground! A crowd envelops him. People are shocked! A man from the crowd kneels to help him..."who is it...who is it?" The people yell. The man next to him says..."I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell!"
 

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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