A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food. . . . The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof. So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food. . . .One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." . . . The lady replied, "It is. I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
One of the best jokes to come along and it's not even political!
As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport , President Trump strides to a warm and dignified reception from *the Queen.*
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards the Buckingham Palace..
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire....The smell is so atrocious that both the passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses...The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen politely turns to President Trump: "Mr President, please, accept my regrets...I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Mr. Trump, always trying to be "Presidential," responded:
"Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought... “Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."