AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.
Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”
His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. APPEARANCE Men wake up looking as good as they did when they went to bed. Women, somehow, deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children! A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes... there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!