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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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Goldhedge

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Before Facebook: This Is How We Used to Unfriend People Back Then

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.

It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado.

When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.

"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
 

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
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Semantics - clarity in splitting hairs.

GRAMMAR LESSON

Is it Complete, Finished or Completely Finished ?

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words- "Complete or Finished" ?

In a recent linguistic competition held in London, and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: "How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand"?
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED....

Here is his astute answer:

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE". "When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED". "And when the right one catches you with the wrong one....you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

He won a trip around the world, and a case of 25 year old Scotch.
 

hoarder

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One evening, after the honeymoon, Dick was working on his
Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by
the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she
finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we're
married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your
time out here in your garage. You probably should consider
selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take
up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing
gear, they just take up so much space. And you know the
boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it. I
also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes
and your home brewing equipment...and what's the use of
that vintage hot rod?"

Dick got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "You were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE
MARRIED BEFORE!"

Dick replied, "I wasn't..."
 

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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