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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

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Goldhedge

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Sex Education
This 16 year-old boy comes home from school and his mom asks how his day was. He replies, "I had sex with my teacher today."

"Oh my god! You get to your room! Wait till your father comes home!" says the mother.

A few hours later the father comes home and the mother says, "Go up to your son's room and talk to him. He's been really bad today."

Dad goes up to the son's room and asks why Mom is so mad. "I told her I had sex with my teacher today," replied the boy.

"All right! That's my boy!" says Dad. "Ya know son, women just don't think like men. But I'm proud of you. What are you now, about sixteen, right? Wow. That's my son! Ya know what? I'm so proud of you I'm gonna take you out and buy you that new shiny bike you've been wanting."

So the dad and his son go out and buy the nicest, reddest, shiniest bike in the whole town. "You gonna ride it home son?" asks Dad.

His son replied, "Nah, my ass is still sore."

 

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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GOLDBRIX

God,Donald Trump,most in GIM2 I Trust. OTHERS-meh
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BarnacleBob

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Just a damn nice picture that I wanted to share with all of you. //BB

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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Long distance calling to Wisconsin....
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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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GOLDBRIX

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GOLDBRIX

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Professur

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the_shootist

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TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
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An oldie, BUT a goodie ! :oriental:

An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!t

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer suntan lotion or Tylenol to a student; but could not inform parents when their student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepchildren;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing​

 

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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