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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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mtnman

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the_shootist

Don't hate me because I'm right!
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mtnman

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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engineear

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When I saw this starting to happen I think of Larry Fitzgerald of the Cardinals...when he scores a TD, he tosses the ball to the nearest ref, then runs to the sidelines, no spiking or doing something stupid, acts like he's been there.

These tools, do the monkey act, take the group niggah pose....then...lose....bwahahaha...instant karma got chew, Holmes!

Now, go home and clean up the hood....bwahahaha
 

mtnman

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A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
 

the_shootist

Don't hate me because I'm right!
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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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mtnman

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Someone_else

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I hoped we did not need a public service announcement, "Don't give guns to monkeys!"

But maybe we do need one.

"Thanks to me, it now has a warning label!"
 

the_shootist

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the_shootist

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Weatherman

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mtnman

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The IRS suspected a log truck owner wasn't paying proper wages to his driver and sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".

Log Truck Owner : "Well, there's Dave , my driver, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus ins and retirement benefits . Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around the shop. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own ins. and retirement , and I buy him a bottle of jack Daniel's every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".

IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".

Log Truck Owner: "That would be me. What would you like to know"?