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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

the_shootist

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JayDubya

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A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.
Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
 

Goldhedge

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gringott

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Sir, that has to be the funniest thing I have seen in the last year. Every time I look at it I grin from ear to ear.
If you don't mind I must share that with my inner circle. Thank you so much for making 2020 a little lighter.
 

GOLDBRIX

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BarnacleBob

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Anyone else plant those China seeds?
 

gringott

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I did. Mine turned out to be for a cigarette tree, however it only produces non filters. I ordered a filtered cigarette holder from amazon, should be here tomorrow so all is good.
 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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GOLDBRIX

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"Back in the 80s"? Hell, I used those since '59.
 

Goldhedge

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Ensoniq

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Goldhedge

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JayDubya

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A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch, he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. "Mind if I have a few?" he asks. "No, not at all!" the woman replied. They chat for an hour and, as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl. "I'm terribly sorry for eating all your peanuts. I really just meant to eat a few." "Oh, that's all right," the woman says. "Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."
 

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

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the_shootist

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Goldhedge

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