Guy goes into the restroom to take a piss. He glances over at the guy next to him who's about 4 ft tall and he notices he has about a foot long dick. He comments damn! God sure blessed you. The guy said yeah I'm a leprechaun we all have them that big. He said yeah really? The leprechaun says would you like one? The guy says really? you can give me one that big? What do I got to do to get that? the little guy says you got to let me have my way with you. He says you can give me one of those really? little guy says get on your hands and knees and let me do you from behind. the little guy proceeds to have his way.. When he finishes he gets up and starts to zip up his pants. The guy in pain says what about me aren't you going to give me one of those? The little guy says aren't you a little old to believe in leprechauns?
girl says to her friend. i met a new guy and i really like him. the only thing is he has dandruff. her friend says 'why dont you give him some head and shoulders"? her reply "how do you give shoulders"?
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of bucks for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten bucks and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied. "Will you spend this on green fees ata golf course instead of food?” the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm goingto take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with youfor doing that?" The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after hehas given up drinking and playing golf.