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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

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GOLDBRIX

God,Donald Trump,most in GIM2 I Trust. OTHERS-meh
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FLORIDA WOMAN STOPS ALLIGATOR ATTACK
Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a Small .22 cal Beretta Pistol:

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

What's the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?

Here's her story in her own words:

"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband, discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.

It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.

If I had not had my little Beretta .22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!

Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.

The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really Incredible.
 

the_shootist

Old (not THAT old), but dangerous, pasty white guy
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MrLucky

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Future back problems.
 

mtnman

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Goldhedge

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the_shootist

Old (not THAT old), but dangerous, pasty white guy
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the_shootist

Old (not THAT old), but dangerous, pasty white guy
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Look again!

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the_shootist

Old (not THAT old), but dangerous, pasty white guy
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No joke

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mtnman

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mtnman

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Unca Walt

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I looked again — about six times.
All I could see was a man kissing his child.
I am apparently missin something, eh?

BF
The guy's head and shoulder looks like his bare ass.

Once seen, can NEVER be unseen... :Happy::Out:
 

Unca Walt

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Oh, unh, thanks, sorta. I guess I'm not afflicted with pareidolia all that much. I didn't see that image until I squinted my eyes a bunch.

BF
Garage door face...
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Woman in a white dress

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Evil clown made of bacon:
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BarnacleBob

Moderator, Equal opportunity annoyer!
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An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee . . .

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:
"Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says,

"Training for a position in United States Congress . . . Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

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Krag

Planet earth
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Here's a set of exercises you can all do. No sweat!

Beating around the bush Jumping to conclusions Dragging your heels Passing the buck Throwing your weight around Pushing your luck Bending over backwards