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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

Someone_else

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^^^ I don't get it.
 

Professur

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Ensoniq

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Just jabbing at impeachment manager Swallwell about his multi year relationship with a Chinese Party Spy

She’s been “milking him“ for years and he’s still denying the relationship.

Nice opportunity for a Valentine’s Day card
 

dacrunch

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A joke from my father dating pre www2

3 Texans at a fancy party.

One brags "I have 2000 heads of cattle on my 10000 acre ranch"
The next one "I've got 20 oil wells on my 3000 acres."
The third says "I've got 50 acres, but no cattle or oil wells."
Laughing, the others ask him "What do you call your ranch?"
- "Downtown Dallas"
 

GOLDBRIX

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Ensoniq

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Love the Stallone joke
 

dacrunch

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Another joke from the '30s from my dad...

"When I was a kid, we'd call the fat kid the Crisco Kid"
- "Why?"
- "Fat in the can"
 

Ensoniq

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This lego joke was so on the money

207A8BD4-897F-4E8E-A0D9-A21E2B2F9EF9.jpeg
 
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mtnman

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mtnman

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dacrunch

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I still haven't found a way of shaving my wrinkled shriveled scrotum without drawing blood and/or pulling hairs from the roots...

Tried hair trimmers, mustache trimmers, screened rotating & back/forth shavers, to no avail. Don't want to try "hot wax brazilian"...
Everything is "ouch" and "I didn't get it all"... - and then stinging alcohol...

The joke goes:

"When God created Man, there were a couple items remaining on his workbench. Some armpit and some elbow skin. Since he didn't want to waste it, he rolled it up into a ball and stuck it down where nobody could see it."
 

engineear

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I still haven't found a way of shaving my wrinkled shriveled scrotum without drawing blood and/or pulling hairs from the roots...

Tried hair trimmers, mustache trimmers, screened rotating & back/forth shavers, to no avail. Don't want to try "hot wax brazilian"...
Everything is "ouch" and "I didn't get it all"... - and then stinging alcohol...

The joke goes:

"When God created Man, there were a couple items remaining on his workbench. Some armpit and some elbow skin. Since he didn't want to waste it, he rolled it up into a ball and stuck it down where nobody could see it."
I would suggest braiding...
 

hammerhead

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I still haven't found a way of shaving my wrinkled shriveled scrotum without drawing blood and/or pulling hairs from the roots...

Tried hair trimmers, mustache trimmers, screened rotating & back/forth shavers, to no avail. Don't want to try "hot wax brazilian"...
Everything is "ouch" and "I didn't get it all"... - and then stinging alcohol...

The joke goes:

"When God created Man, there were a couple items remaining on his workbench. Some armpit and some elbow skin. Since he didn't want to waste it, he rolled it up into a ball and stuck it down where nobody could see it."
Uh, ok.
Have you ever tried to shave your head? When I did chemo, I'd wake up with clumps of hair on my pillow so I said f this and just did away with it all at once. Not as easy as I thought it would be.
 

dacrunch

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Uh, ok.
Have you ever tried to shave your head? When I did chemo, I'd wake up with clumps of hair on my pillow so I said f this and just did away with it all at once. Not as easy as I thought it would be.
I have always had 3-panel mirror medicine cabinets in my bathrooms. manage to see the sides & back of your head. It's a bit tricky aiming the trimmer angle with the mirror, if you don't use 2 hands on the trimmer (one over the blades).

I shave my head, trim my beard & cheeks & neck monthly... Armpits, nipple contours, and then comes the scrotum challenge... That's where I get stumped...
 

dacrunch

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dacrunch

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the_shootist

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