Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
The Bidens are seated together in a nice restaurant. The waiter comes to take their orders.
He says to Mrs Biden, "Good evening Dr Biden. Have you decided on an entree?"
"Yes", she replies "I'll have the New York Strip, medium rare".
"Very good" says the waiter. "And for the vegetable?"
She replies "Oh, he'll have the same."
I’m watching Blue Bloods on Hulu, right now, in season 9, somewhere. Maybe episode 14. Steven Schirippa has a role as an investigator for the DA’s office. I just watched him look a NYPD cop (Eddie Jenko) in the face and seriously tell her that if she puts pineapple on a pizza she is “Dead to me.” Laughed out loud.