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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

BarnacleBob

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Ensoniq

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the_shootist

I identify as already vaccinated so I'm good!
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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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A lot of people disagree, but I don’t think mushrooms belong on a pizza, either. They just suck the flavor right off a pizza. Now, mushrooms and a steak are a different story.
 

Fatrat

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Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees


Ees


Ees


Ees



Ees a ham bush..."
 

Goldhedge

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Not bad for your 4th post.... LOL
 

Bottom Feeder

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The Bidens are seated together in a nice restaurant. The waiter comes to take their orders.
He says to Mrs Biden, "Good evening Dr Biden. Have you decided on an entree?"
"Yes", she replies "I'll have the New York Strip, medium rare".
"Very good" says the waiter. "And for the vegetable?"
She replies "Oh, he'll have the same."
 

gringott

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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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I’m watching Blue Bloods on Hulu, right now, in season 9, somewhere. Maybe episode 14. Steven Schirippa has a role as an investigator for the DA’s office. I just watched him look a NYPD cop (Eddie Jenko) in the face and seriously tell her that if she puts pineapple on a pizza she is “Dead to me.” Laughed out loud.
 

gringott

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gringott

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WillA2

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Final countdown begins this Saturday.

4-3-21
 
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So a woman walks into a bar and the drunk there asks her, "Hey! Can I smell your feet?" She says, "Absolutely not you perv!" The drunk says, "Oh, it must be your ***** then!"