The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was driving along near the campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
He found a helpless Greenie wearing shorts, sandals, and a 'Save the Trees' shirt.
The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of loggers wearing flannel shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Greenie from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear.
Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Greenie in the back seat.
As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.”
As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who was that guy? “
"Dude, that was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.”
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to California and get another one...?”
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again, he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"
She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."
"No, I won't."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.
She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"