JOKE OF THE DAY!?!
- Thread starter SilverNuts&Bolts
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DONALD TRUMP: I’ve been told by my many sources, good sources – they’re very good sources – that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it’s a really good road. It’s a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the…thing in the…you know the rest.
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DONALD TRUMP: I’ve been told by my many sources, good sources – they’re very good sources – that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it’s a really good road. It’s a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the…thing in the…you know the rest.
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Ect, Ect...
Bottom Feeder: The chicken didn't cross the road. I runned over his ass.
BF
<grin>
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- Joined
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Is, ah, this the one you wanted, Walter?
Stinkin' dink dog done it a-purpose! Check out the slo-mo...
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In church Sunday morning the preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
With that, JB got in line, and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, "JB, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
JB replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one of his fingers in JB's ear, then he took his other hand and placed it on top of JB's head; and then he prayed and prayed and eventually the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "JB, how is your hearing now?"
JB answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
With that, JB got in line, and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, "JB, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
JB replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one of his fingers in JB's ear, then he took his other hand and placed it on top of JB's head; and then he prayed and prayed and eventually the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "JB, how is your hearing now?"
JB answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
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Younger people sure do have a differently programmed brain. Yesterday, I went into a male bathroom and did my business at the urinal.
I could hear someone in one of the toilet stalls. I went and washed my hands. A young woman, around 20, came out of a toilet stall. I told her that this was the male bathroom and the she should use the girls bathroom next door in the hall. She said the bathroom in the room she worked in was being used, so she used this one (male). Then she got snotty and said "sooorrrrryy" sarcastically.
All I was trying to do, was tell the young woman that it was inappropriate to use the men's room. She was acting like I was being a jerk. I was just trying to act like a gentleman. If I went and used the woman's bathroom, I would have been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. Young people need to learn what bathroom to use!
That's not important.
If you've been watching them dismantle our social construct for the last 20 years, you know.
Don't you know, we're all one big happy family in the world, with butterflies and puppies and slow walks on the beach.
Bad things only happen to other people.
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I was just trying to teach her, that using the men's bathroom is wrong. If she did this at a bar, campground, etc., she could run into real trouble. Maybe she will realize what she did was wrong and could be dangerous.
What You Think a Baby Will Be Like vs The REALITY!
The day after the election I was arguing with my grandmother, after I found out she had voted for Biden/Harris.
I got so mad at her after a while, I left the cemetery and got a stiff drink.
I got so mad at her after a while, I left the cemetery and got a stiff drink.
Was her name Michelle?
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Probably not. She was a 20 or so year old, nice looking chick. I kind of think she hiding in that male bathroom and using her texting device. I will
probably come across her again, as she works a block from where I work.