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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

michael59

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some of you will get this: Its sticky season and the hunting is good. Best entertainment of this is all the red sharpie marks on the wall will most likely get painted over this spring because the flies are camouflaging in side the red circles.
 

Unca Walt

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This ole hunter ain't gots a clue.
 

michael59

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flies. Sticky season is : day-am-it these flies are sticky this year. What do you call a fly that cant flie? Why a walker. What do you call a fly in the dog's water bowl? why a swimmer. Best thing about walkers and swimmers is putting them in with the goldfish.
 

Unca Walt

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flies. Sticky season is : day-am-it these flies are sticky this year. What do you call a fly that cant flie? Why a walker. What do you call a fly in the dog's water bowl? why a swimmer. Best thing about walkers and swimmers is putting them in with the goldfish.
I quote the following extremely accurate and fitting response:

"Cold is with the monkey's ears and toes. Cats, dogs, and babies, it's Tuesday! Travel trips taken away go home. Friends are baskets and hats. Wishes are hopping and trees are west."

Source: https://studybay.net › blog › examples-of-gibberish
 

michael59

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the_shootist

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gringott

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JayDubya

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A father told his three sons when he sent them to the university:
"I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. But I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."
And so it happened. The sons became a doctor, a lawyer, and a financial planner, each very successful financially.
When they saw their father in the coffin after his death, they remembered his wish.
First it was the doctor who put ten $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.
Then came the financial planner, who put a $1,000 bill there, too.
Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer’s turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000.
He put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.
 

gringott

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gringott

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Krag

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A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for,"
said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow.. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you
food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted. That night the
sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would
bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by
the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy ."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
 

mtnman

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Goldhedge

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A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband:

"I love you, sweetheart."

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with another woman and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 12 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love....who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?

Kinda tugs at the heart, doesn't it?!
 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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gringott

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A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband:

"I love you, sweetheart."

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with another woman and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 12 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love....who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?

Kinda tugs at the heart, doesn't it?!
My wife got another phone, I didn't know about it, she texted me from her work using it, it was just a phone number and the message "Honey, I love you".
I texted back: WHO ARE YOU?
 

gringott

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It seems there IS help for gim2 forum members after all.

MMMMMMMooooooooooooo!
 

gringott

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I guess this is the joke of the decade now.

Loyalty to the Constitution.JPG
 

the_shootist

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the_shootist

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gringott

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