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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

JayDubya

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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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JayDubya

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A husband and wife are Christmas shopping at a busy shopping mall the morning of Christmas Eve. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.

" Where are you? You know we have lots to do."

He replied, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time, and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up. "Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the gun shop next door.”
 

Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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Krag

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mtnman

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RebelYell

Name no longer reflects my changed worldview.
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mtnman

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Someone_else

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@mtnman: God, that's hilarious!
BB: I am sure I am not the only one that forgot to take the cover off the pitot tube. The takeoff felt really weird with 0 knots.
 

Ensoniq

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That’s good - made me think about NCIS

Jethro on NCIS, for 29 some years they had the running gag of him building a boat from scratch in his basement

Spoiler below photo

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On the current season they revealed how he got it out. He’d mad a knock out wall. Gotten in legal trouble and took it to Alaska through the hole
 
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TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
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MT. VERNON, TEXAS (where else?) …

WHOREHOUSE SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!

Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their facilities in response to an increase in their ever-growing business, whereupon the local Baptist Church, across the street, started a campaign to block the whorehouse from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening daily prayer meetings. Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the fire, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer." So, late last week, 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the brothel's owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise. During the trial, the crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply and then declared, "I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullshit!"