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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

BarnacleBob

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BarnacleBob

Exoriare aliquis nostris ex ossibus ultor
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Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”
 

mtnman

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Goldhedge

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mtnman

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Pot's no joke. It works.
 

Goldhedge

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The 'joke' is that they make it illegal.
 

Goldhedge

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mtnman

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Professur

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MrLucky

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Got him. Prize?
 

^updated^

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an old joke with a new twist...

There once was a boy named George Gunderson who did not do very well in school. His classmates ridiculed him every day, as did his teacher, Mrs. Jones. George couldn't stand it, and always came home crying to his parents.

One day, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson decided to come to the school early to give Mrs. Jones a piece of her mind. The second the door opened to let the kids outside, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson peeked inside to hear Mrs. Jones screaming at George. "George Gunderson, you are the dumbest kid in the world!"

George's parents immediately stormed into the classroom. "Our son is not dumb!" they yelled. "He is a sweet and kind young lad with plenty of potential!"

"He has no potential at all!" shrieked Mrs. Jones. "He was born an idiot and he'll die an idiot!"

The Gundersons were so outraged that they immediately moved to Chicago.

Some thirty years later, Mrs. Jones came down with a terrible illness and went to her doctor.

"You have a very rare disease," the doctor said. "There is only one doctor in the whole country that can cure your disease. His name is Dr. Gunderson, and he works in the Chicago hospital."

At once, Mrs. Jones bought a plane ticket to Chicago. After arriving in Chicago, she went straight to the hospital and asked for Dr. Gunderson.

While treating Mrs. Jones, Dr. Gunderson put her on a life support system. One day, she asked him, "You know, Dr. Gunderson, I don't believe you ever told me your first name. What is it?"

Dr. Gunderson was about to answer, when suddenly, Mrs. Jones collapsed. She was dead.

Dr. Gunderson saw that the janitor had absentmindedly unplugged the life support system so he could plug in his vacuum cleaner. He shook his head and said to the janitor, "You know, George, sometimes I can't believe you're my brother."
 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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chieftain

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^ I dun geddit.
 

Goldhedge

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the_shootist

Checked out! Good luck!
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Goldhedge

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I once met a pirate with a Shipswheel stuck down the front of his pants.

I asked him if it bothered him at all and he said, "Aaaarrrr, it's drvin' me nuts!"
 

gringott

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Goldhedge

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Oooph! That's gonna leave a hole where a tooth was....