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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

gringott

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Is it long enough for a drive train?

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MrLucky

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Got him. Prize?
 

^updated^

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an old joke with a new twist...

There once was a boy named George Gunderson who did not do very well in school. His classmates ridiculed him every day, as did his teacher, Mrs. Jones. George couldn't stand it, and always came home crying to his parents.

One day, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson decided to come to the school early to give Mrs. Jones a piece of her mind. The second the door opened to let the kids outside, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson peeked inside to hear Mrs. Jones screaming at George. "George Gunderson, you are the dumbest kid in the world!"

George's parents immediately stormed into the classroom. "Our son is not dumb!" they yelled. "He is a sweet and kind young lad with plenty of potential!"

"He has no potential at all!" shrieked Mrs. Jones. "He was born an idiot and he'll die an idiot!"

The Gundersons were so outraged that they immediately moved to Chicago.

Some thirty years later, Mrs. Jones came down with a terrible illness and went to her doctor.

"You have a very rare disease," the doctor said. "There is only one doctor in the whole country that can cure your disease. His name is Dr. Gunderson, and he works in the Chicago hospital."

At once, Mrs. Jones bought a plane ticket to Chicago. After arriving in Chicago, she went straight to the hospital and asked for Dr. Gunderson.

While treating Mrs. Jones, Dr. Gunderson put her on a life support system. One day, she asked him, "You know, Dr. Gunderson, I don't believe you ever told me your first name. What is it?"

Dr. Gunderson was about to answer, when suddenly, Mrs. Jones collapsed. She was dead.

Dr. Gunderson saw that the janitor had absentmindedly unplugged the life support system so he could plug in his vacuum cleaner. He shook his head and said to the janitor, "You know, George, sometimes I can't believe you're my brother."
 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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chieftain

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^ I dun geddit.
 

Goldhedge

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the_shootist

Checked out! Good luck!
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Goldhedge

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I once met a pirate with a Shipswheel stuck down the front of his pants.

I asked him if it bothered him at all and he said, "Aaaarrrr, it's drvin' me nuts!"
 

gringott

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Goldhedge

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Oooph! That's gonna leave a hole where a tooth was....
 

Goldhedge

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WillA2

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mtnman

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mtnman

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Ensoniq

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^ I dun geddit.
Spoilt brat?

He’s a hall of fame level wide receiver that keep losing his mind and melting down. Did it with Pittsburg got fired, did it with Patriots got fired.

Just did it again with Tampa bay. Took his jersey and pads off in walk off field in middle of game. His team won, but I guess he wanted the ball more

 

WillA2

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He’s a hall of fame level wide receiver that keep losing his mind and melting down. Did it with Pittsburg got fired, did it with Patriots got fired.

Just did it again with Tampa bay. Took his jersey and pads off in walk off field in middle of game. His team won, but I guess he wanted the ball more


I wouldn't hire someone with that poor of an attitude to do anything.
 

Goldhedge

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Kazakistani language is the sound of a diesel engine trying to start up in _20 degrees​

 

Ensoniq

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I wouldn't hire someone with that poor of an attitude to do anything.

It’s tricky because success if defined as winning games and in small availability of talent he’s near the top.

I wouldn’t risk destroying the chemistry of a team, particularly one full of type A egos, but I understand why teams that are losing may take the risk

This guy behaves normally 95% of time. Needs some bipolar meds or something
 

hoarder

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My buddy Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working
in the family business.
He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
Tom wanted two things:
• to learn how to invest his inheritance and,
• to find a wife to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a
few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.


Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men...
 

Goldhedge

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BUFFALO SMASHED ITS WAY INTO A RESTAURANT AND THREW A MAN INTO THE AIR​

 

mtnman

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