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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

JayDubya

pies klasy robotniczej
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Goldhedge

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Advice from An Old Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.

Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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mtnman

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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practicing to be santa claus?

Man found stuck in chimney of Silver Spring house he doesn't live in​

A man was extricated from a chimney at a Silver Spring house that he doesn't live in on Saturday morning. Police escorted him to a nearby trauma center.

 

Goldhedge

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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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Broke down and went to McDonald’s about a week ago. Had a craving for a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese. $9.99 for that thing! I got it home and opened up the box. The patties were definitely not 4 to 1, or four to a pound. They might have been 8 to 1 burgers. Maybe. They need to rename themselves to McCheaters. The fries were pretty good, though. Glad they could spare them.
 

the_shootist

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Broke down and went to McDonald’s about a week ago. Had a craving for a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese. $9.99 for that thing! I got it home and opened up the box. The patties were definitely not 4 to 1, or four to a pound. They might have been 8 to 1 burgers. Maybe. They need to rename themselves to McCheaters. The fries were pretty good, though. Glad they could spare them.
What the hell is an intelligent and highly respected guy like you doing in a McCrappo? Step away from the poison sir!
 

the_shootist

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BarnacleBob

Exoriare aliquis nostris ex ossibus ultor
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Sometimes after interacting with the great unwashed, ignorant, masses on social media, the overwhelming urge to commit, spontaneous, kinetic, cosmetic, facial reconstruction with the flat end of cheap bottle of beer in a dive bar wells up inside me. It is probably best if I dont go out into public usually.
 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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mtnman

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Goldhedge

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5G Song​

 

Goldhedge

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They eat everything in China