In a thousand or two years archeologists will dig this up and marvel at how advanced this culture was....
It will take them decades to figure out what it was and what it did.... calculated egg production....
JOKE OF THE DAY!?!
- Thread starter SilverNuts&Bolts
- Start date
It will take them decades to figure out what it was and what it did.... calculated egg production....
An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman
has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.
"I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000
asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for
$65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model."
"Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?"
replied the grinning salesman.
Just then the young woman approached the aged couple and gave them the keys.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I would get the dope to reduce it.
See you later, grandpa.”
Never mess with the elderly!
has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.
"I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000
asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for
$65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model."
"Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?"
replied the grinning salesman.
Just then the young woman approached the aged couple and gave them the keys.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I would get the dope to reduce it.
See you later, grandpa.”
Never mess with the elderly!
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited. However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat is in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken. The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?” The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken. The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?” The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.
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I've seen that set up in a house. I ain't kidding either.
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- Joined
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- Joined
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- Joined
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No trump pence sticker...independent I guess.
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People say 60 is the new 40... but the policeman who stopped me did not agree.
When I see lovers' names and initials carved into trees I wonder, Why were they carrying a knife on a date?
I do not understand why someone would sit in traffic for half an hour just to ride a stationary bike at the gym for 20 minutes.
Sometimes you meet that special someone and you immediately know you want to spend the rest of your life avoiding them.
When I see lovers' names and initials carved into trees I wonder, Why were they carrying a knife on a date?
I do not understand why someone would sit in traffic for half an hour just to ride a stationary bike at the gym for 20 minutes.
Sometimes you meet that special someone and you immediately know you want to spend the rest of your life avoiding them.
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I like #5
BF
BF
Vampire
She Risking It All: Madonna Was Letting Them Mellons Out On TikTok!
Getting Banned Was Not An Issue. Posted By PSmooth
worldstarhiphop.com
Son of Gloin
Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
Midas Member
GIM Hall Of Fame
Midas Supporter ++
Vampire
She Risking It All: Madonna Was Letting Them Mellons Out On TikTok!
Getting Banned Was Not An Issue. Posted By PSmoothworldstarhiphop.com
Madonna is one completely weirded out
woman.
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- Joined
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Son of Gloin
Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
Midas Member
GIM Hall Of Fame
Midas Supporter ++
Are ya sure?
Woke Wheaties would feature Kaitlyn Jenner on the box and Cracker Jill might feature Lia Thompson.
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . .
The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . .
The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
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sounds like the government talkin
FYI —
Now, feel better?
Bill Maher,
one of the few honest liberals left. I don’t agree with him on much but we overlap free speech. This bit is pretty well done as he makes fun of his own side’s cancel culture and particularly Wil Smith
one of the few honest liberals left. I don’t agree with him on much but we overlap free speech. This bit is pretty well done as he makes fun of his own side’s cancel culture and particularly Wil Smith
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He’s an idiot…just jumps on whatever the lib bandwagon of the moment is.
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Didn’t watch it huh? I understand the revulsion to Libs I have it as well
in the video he jumped off the bandwagon and made fun of it