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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

Unca Walt

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AHA AND HOOHAH -- I found another shot of the Shake Snake Shop!
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And for the main course at an upscale restaurant, would a nice, fat rat with an apple in its mouth tempt you?

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Unca Walt

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In superior smugnitude, I consider my veracity to be thoroughly veracitated. :gracious:

PS: Here is sumpin' else I have seen that I betcha you civilized types haven't:

Can you imagine what the garbage looks like from a street of boiled dogs and snake guts for sale?

Hint: No garbage trucks can fit in the long, long alleys. Beyond your imagining, trust me.
 
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mtnman

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There are many reasons why my relatives came to the wilderness called the New World. This snake shit is one of them.
 

Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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...
I've seen stacks of cooked dogs. Everything left (eg: whole as in guts and all) as when they dumped the live dog in the cooker. No fur. Six foot stack. ...
Being an honest to god lover of the canine species and having had about a dozen of the lovable critters in my house over the years, all of them like furry kids to me, the idea of cooking and eating a dog is revolting to me. Even more so, the idea that they cook them alive is beyond repulsive (and actually makes me heart sick). Drinking snake bile and venom seems mild by comparison. I couldn’t even boil a lobster live. Ya gotta have the compassion to kill the thing quickly, first.
 

mtnman

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Unca Walt

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I have a catchall phrase for trans-fad-morons at all levels of society including the SCOTUS:

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
 

Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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I have a catchall phrase for trans-fad-morons at all levels of society including the SCOTUS:

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
I like that one. Never heard it before.
 

mtnman

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mtnman

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mtnman

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Not a joke, but it is a joke...

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Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
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Life as a Seenager
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now. Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation. The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet. Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
 

Goldhedge

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chieftain

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Not a joke, but it is a joke...

View attachment 254442

The numbers are all fucked.

The fuel excise in Australia is 44 cents per litre (recently halved to 22cpl). So if someone paid $32.16 in excise, they bought 73L of fuel. That much fuel won't cost $67 at the pump, it would have been around $1.60 a litre. So the amount paid would have been $116 and not $67.

If one did buy $67 of fuel, at the same average price (before the price hikes) of $1.60/L, they bought 41L of fuel. This would make the excise paid $18.

If that is an actual OneNation ad, they're just showing how dumb they are.
 

mtnman

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Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
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chieftain

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I think I’m reading your mind here, WA2.
Unless..., I’m wrong.

There is no way to hide the unfolding genocide, no amount of fuckery will be able to keep what is arguably the greatest crime of all time mired in darkness.
 
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Ensoniq

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(What they taste like)

I was watching Lucifer, pretty funny and well done. They introduce God in the final season. Here they sit for a family dinner with the Angels (and one mortal who happens to be Lucifer’s psychiatrist, ex lover and married to one of the arch angels)

she white, God is black and she drops the “no wonder everything tastes like chicken“ line

 

Goldhedge

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Goldhedge

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Fatrat

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gringott

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mtnman

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arminius

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Everything is the same as always, it's just a lot easier to see with all the new tech.
This is true!

Yes it is true, it is also true that the new tech allows them to significantly magnify the issues of evil they are and have been placing within our societies.
 

Usury

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Goldhedge

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An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"

"What powerful rivers !"

"What beautiful animals!"

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look . . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....He looked over his shoulder again,

and the bear was even closer ....and then ..... he tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ...reaching towards him with its left paw ...and raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,

"Oh my God!"

Time Stopped ...

The bear froze .....

The forest was silent ....

A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident ....Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ...."It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

... a pause ...

"Very well," said the voice ...

The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ...

And the bear dropped his right arm ....

brought both paws together ....

bowed his head & spoke ...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive"
 

the_shootist

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the_shootist

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