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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

the_shootist

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Someone_else

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Huh?! "Twenty-first Street" is not hard to pronounce.
 

Usury

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Juneteenth
 

Ensoniq

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Huh?! "Twenty-first Street" is not hard to pronounce.
Twenty “firth” street.

he sure didn’t spend 20 minutes with spell check wasn’t ‘facanating’ enough


 

TN_Preacher

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The Psychiatrist & The Proctologist​


Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors."

The town council was livid and insisted they change it. So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts" - no way.

"Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.

"Loons and Moons" - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends."

Everyone loved it.
 

mtnman

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mtnman

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Fatrat

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mtnman

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mtnman

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I got pulled over for going 7 mph over the speed limit.
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As the officer started walking up to my truck, I rolled my windows down ...
My adorable and apparently INCREDIBLY smart 4 yr old daughter, started screaming from the backseat:
“It’s coming out!!!!!”
“I can’t hold it any longer Papi!!!!!”
“It’s almost here!!!!!!!! Papiiiiiii!!!”
Now the trooper is HEARING her scream this....
and he leans in the window and asks her “What’s going on here???”
She looks him DEAD IN THE FACE
And says “I’ve got poop coming outta my butt!!
He started laughing
I looked like I was about to cry
He asked how far I had to go, which was about 2 miles home. He told me to drive safe and get miss thang home to do her business. He could NOT stop laughing
As soon as we pulled away I asked “What the hell was that about???”
This kid, smirked and said “I saw it on YouTube but I didn’t think it would work”
I said “So...... You're not pooping?”
She said nope and you're not in trouble either.
OMG
This kid is my hero
 

mtnman

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mtnman

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mtnman

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