JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

[the_shootist]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[JayDubya]

 

[JayDubya]

 

[JayDubya]

It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," replied the little girl, "It is a puppy."

 

[JayDubya]

Manny is almost 29 years old. His friends have already gotten married, but Manny still just dates and dates.

Finally, a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"

"No," Manny replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"

"Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?"

Many weeks go by and again Manny and his friend get together. "So, Manny, did you find that perfect girl yet--one that's just like your Mother?"

Manny shrugs his shoulders, "Yes, I found one just like Mom. And my mother loved her, and they became fast friends."

So should I congratulate you? "Are you and this girl engaged, yet?"

"I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"

 

[the_shootist]

 

[Ensoniq]

View attachment 262931

That reminds me, I forgot to take the potatoes out of the refrigerator

 

[the_shootist]

 

[chieftain]

View attachment 262931

She's a sex object... whenever she asks for sex, everyone objects.

 

[Ensoniq]

when you visit Baltimore stay in your car and don’t approach the natives: or else

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1534007602517901314

 

[BarnacleBob]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[mtnman]

View attachment 262908

Here's another creepy one...

 

[mtnman]

 

[mtnman]

I`M NO LONGER CONFUSED
I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:
Internal Revenue 'Service'
Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service
Civil 'Service'
Municipal, City, & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.
BAM!!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

 

[mtnman]

 

[gringott]

Amber Heard Special Down Under!

 

[Bottom Feeder]

 

[Goldhedge]

Amber Heard Special Down Under!
View attachment 262978

$16.20 on AMZN

 

[mtnman]

 

[BarnacleBob]

 

[BarnacleBob]

 

[Uglytruth]

Kinda like pointing a light in one of her ears &..........

 

[WillA2]

View attachment 263079

Newton rolling in his grave.

 

[BarnacleBob]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[Bottom Feeder]

 

[Bottom Feeder]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[the_shootist]

 

[Son of Gloin]

View attachment 262730

For those who didn’t bother to look..., Part 121G. The Flux Capacitor. I’ve been looking for one of them.

 

[the_shootist]

 

[Son of Gloin]

View attachment 263183

Who is that dweeb?

 

[Hunter-seeker]

Who is that dweeb?

The poster child for shit eating grin? Never understood that phrase.

 

[the_shootist]

Who is that dweeb?

I don't know. I can tell you I wouldn't buy a used car from him but can't tell you why!

 

[BarnacleBob]