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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

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arminius

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^^^ A hard uppercut to the jaw while in that grin ^^^ in that second picture would be most satisfying.

And I haven't had any violence in my life since I was a teen.
 

mtnman

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"My neighbor with big boobs likes to come out every morning and work topless in the yard before it gets too hot. I'm hoping one of these mornings his wife will come out and join him."
 

mtnman

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mtnman

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A fifteen-year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?”
He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”
“With what money!?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?” they asked.
“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “Don’t know her name — they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
“Oh my goodness!” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”
So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she has sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
“Well,” she said, "I thought my husband was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back.
This morning I got a phone call from my husband he claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money.
So I did
 

mtnman

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Uglytruth

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mtnman

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Goldhedge

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arminius

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arming.jpeg
 

gringott

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moo
 

the_shootist

Checked out! Good luck!
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mtnman

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mtnman

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JayDubya

pies klasy robotniczej
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After retiring, a Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant took a new job as a high school teacher.
Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.
The smart punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.
With a strong breeze blowing, it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead Silence.
The rest of the year went smoothly.
 

mtnman

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