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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

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Goldhedge

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mtnman

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Krag

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Krag

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Krag

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Sorting out their relationship:

An elderly couple had been courting for a long time and finally decided to get married. Before they wed, they went out to dinner to discuss how their marriage might work. They talked finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the man raised the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked tentatively. "I would like it infrequently," replied the old lady. The old gentleman sat for a moment, then leaned toward her.

The old gentleman sat for a moment, then leaned toward her and asked: "Is that one word... or two?"
 

the_shootist

Checked out! Good luck!
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Someone_else

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That steel wire gotta hurt, too.
 

mtnman

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mtnman

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WillA2

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I told the clerk to give me $5 on pump #1. He laughed and said, "Where do you think you're going on $5 worth of gas?" I said, "Pump #2."

Stolen.
 

Uglytruth

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I don't think this is a joke..........


Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. 

 All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.

”
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says: “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back: “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence”
“Done!” replies the government official

,

And that, my friends, is how the $3.5 trillion Build Back Better legislation will work.
 

chieftain

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WillA2

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TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
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The origin of the word FUGGLY !!!

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mtnman

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