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JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

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Unca Walt

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Nah. I still open the door for my bride of almost 22 years. I like and love her. Those are two different concepts.
Jeez. It took me that long to find which arm it's under. 62 years married.
 

WillA2

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Goldhedge

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mtnman

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mtnman

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mtnman

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank
you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to
pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congress
was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
If you don't forward this you have no sense of humor.
 

mtnman

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gringott

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A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.

The physicist says, "The initial measurement was incorrect."

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

And the mathematician says, "If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty."
 

mtnman

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Bottom Feeder

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A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.

The physicist says, "The initial measurement was incorrect."

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

And the mathematician says, "If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty."
And Schrödinger said "There are simultaneously two people and three people in the house. The system remains in superposition until it interacts with, or is observed by the external world"
 

arminius

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Back to school...

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Math teacher


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Homework


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Bottom Feeder

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I was sittin in the shitter when I hear the guy next to me say, "say, ya got any TP over there, I'm out." I take a look at the roll in my stall and see it's about four sheets from empty.
So, I answer him back, "no there's only a few sheets left in here." He replies; "would you sell me some?" And I think No Way! So I told him no, that I was going to need it all.
A pause for ten seconds or so and he says; "got change for a five?"

+====+====+====+====+====+====+====+====+====+
 

Unca Walt

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I was sittin in the shitter when I hear the guy next to me say, "say, ya got any TP over there, I'm out." I take a look at the roll in my stall and see it's about four sheets from empty.
So, I answer him back, "no there's only a few sheets left in here." He replies; "would you sell me some?" And I think No Way! So I told him no, that I was going to need it all.
A pause for ten seconds or so and he says; "got change for a five?"

+====+====+====+====+====+====+====+====+====+
In India, do NOT expect to find toilet paper in the shitters. There are guys standing outside them selling toilet paper.
 

arminius

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mtnman

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