• Same story, different day...........year ie more of the same fiat floods the world
  • There are no markets
  • "Spreading the ideas of freedom loving people on matters regarding high finance, politics, constructionist Constitution, and mental masturbation of all types"

JOKE OF THE DAY!?!

mtnman

Gold Member
Gold Chaser
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
3,778
Likes
5,938
Location
East Tennessee
 

TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
Midas Member
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 2, 2010
Messages
12,251
Likes
19,954
Location
ORYGUN
mtnman, they are known as "shit for brains", do you really want all that shit on your hands ???
 

mtnman

Gold Member
Gold Chaser
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
3,778
Likes
5,938
Location
East Tennessee
Cowboy Story


A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand..


Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

(P.S. - I didn't see it coming, either)
 

Son of Gloin

Certainty of death? What are we waiting for?
Gold Chaser
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 6, 2010
Messages
3,906
Likes
7,433
Location
USA

TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
Midas Member
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 2, 2010
Messages
12,251
Likes
19,954
Location
ORYGUN

TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
Midas Member
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 2, 2010
Messages
12,251
Likes
19,954
Location
ORYGUN
funeral.jpg
 

Krag

Planet earth
Platinum Bling
Joined
Feb 20, 2013
Messages
4,365
Likes
3,397
A rabbi, a priest, and a Baptist preacher are discussing what they do with donations to their respective religious organizations. The Baptist preacher says that he draws a square on the floor, throws the money up in the air, and whatever lands in the square, he gives to God, and whatever lands outside the square, he keeps. The priest uses a similar method. He draws the circle, but whatever lands outside the circle, he gives to God, and whatever lands inside, he keeps. The rabbi has a slightly different method of dividing the money. He throws all the money up in the air. Whatever God doesn't keep, he keeps!
 

arminius

Gold Member
Gold Chaser
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Jun 6, 2011
Messages
3,500
Likes
4,536
Location
right here right now
I was tryin to understand the difference between a perversion and a fetish — they seem a little blurry to me. The best I could determine is that a fetish uses chicken feathers while a pervert uses the whole chicken.

BF
Way this one works is when you ask a hot babe if she knows the difference between erotic and kinky. Most times she'll say no. So you tell her that erotic is when you tickle your lover with a feather, and kinky is when you use the whole chicken...
 

TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
Midas Member
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 2, 2010
Messages
12,251
Likes
19,954
Location
ORYGUN

mtnman

Gold Member
Gold Chaser
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
3,778
Likes
5,938
Location
East Tennessee

TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
Midas Member
Sr Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 2, 2010
Messages
12,251
Likes
19,954
Location
ORYGUN
COW HIT BY A LIMO

Suddenly, a cow runs out onto the road, and a limo driving late at night, hits it head on, and the car comes to a stop. The woman in the back seat, in her usual abrasive manner, says to the Chauffeur, "You get out and check on that poor cow. You were driving."

So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead, but it appeared to be very old.

Well, says the woman, "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there."

Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full belly, his hair ruffled, and a big grin on his face.

"My God, what happened to you?" asks the nasty woman.

The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and the daughter made love to me."


"What on earth did you say?" asks the woman.


Well, I just knocked on the door. When it opened, I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow."

......


Don't you just love a story with a happy ending?