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Raising Kids

nickndfl

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When they think they are rockstars, but are simply roadies and then they give you attitude.

What do you do?
 

specsaregood

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I tell em I got bathrooms that need cleaning, dog shit to clean in the yard, and master control of their internet access.
 

BackwardsEngineeer

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Sounds like maybe you have some of your kids working in your business? If so, time to allow them the opportunity to succeed elsewhere....

(worked for my dad, several children worked for us, all is much better when business and family are separate)
 

BarnacleBob

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If they are Rockstars then they need an agent to take care of their personal & biz affairs... Agents are employed by Rockstars, they dont work for free.... IOW time to turn the tables, everybody's got to pay, even the Rockstars & to a much lesser degree, the Roadies too....
 

Hivemindgammahydra7

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How old are they? Boys or girls? Asking for background so I can give a better answer …
 

WillA2

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Encourage back-up plans when stardom fails.
 

Unca Walt

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When they think they are rockstars, but are simply roadies and then they give you attitude.

What do you do?
Yeah. Iwas gonna ask, too: How old? What fargin sex?

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| <-- the range now


| ----| what I need to give a sensible answer.


You to your son who comes home with a torn shirt: "Awright, what'd ya do to your shirt?"

You to your daughter who comes home with a torn shirt: "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SHIRT???"
 

jrog100

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When they think they are rockstars, but are simply roadies and then they give you attitude.

What do you do?

That's tough without a lot of context. Just remember they're your kids, you love them and want them to be better than you were. How do you converse with them when you have those thoughts in mind?

I always just showed my kids a lot of respect as people - no matter their age. I didnt really treat them like kids or talk down to them - at all. I think that helped ALOT and they appreciated that. I would flip out occasionally depending on their mistake but I always tried to moderate my emotions. that also helped.
 

nickndfl

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Was gifting 21 yo step son my profitable business, so I can retire shortly. He is already on the payroll and in training. I pay all of his living expenses too except auto ins. My company pays his cell phone and he lives with us.

He gets a $2k salary + mileage monthly which works out to $225/day because he works part time.

He came to me early this week because he wants more money. I have him scheduled for 4 days next month because he declined additional work. He is not trained enough for full time.

The kicker is he needs more $ because he is going to Vegas on vacation with his buddies. I have not had a vacation in 3 years. He thinks I am not grateful for him coming on board and helping out. You believe that?
 

coopersmith

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hes just a kid, sometimes their thought process is wonky. if he was going to vegas, he should have saved up for the trip. tell him to play the penny slots instead of at the big boys table.

As my grandfather told me once, 'do i look like the fucking bank. The bank is in town.'

You could always tell him to ask his mama instead. You gave him a job.
 
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Juristic Person

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Was gifting 21 yo step son my profitable business, so I can retire shortly. He is already on the payroll and in training. I pay all of his living expenses too except auto ins. My company pays his cell phone and he lives with us.

He gets a $2k salary + mileage monthly which works out to $225/day because he works part time.

He came to me early this week because he wants more money. I have him scheduled for 4 days next month because he declined additional work. He is not trained enough for full time.

The kicker is he needs more $ because he is going to Vegas on vacation with his buddies. I have not had a vacation in 3 years. He thinks I am not grateful for him coming on board and helping out. You believe that?
He needs a dose of reality. It's one thing to mentor the ked and teach him how to run a business. But providing him welfare is not going to help him develop the experience, skills and mentality he needs to thrive when the crutch is removed. If he wants his Vegas trip bad enough, he'll earn it. If he doesn't, tough luck. Gifting him your business should be enough - and motivate him to bust his ass learning the business. He seems entitled. Not a good thing.
 

nickndfl

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Somebody said something to him because I outfitted him so that he could become literally ranked in the top 1% civilian drone pilots in the world. He has done more miles than mostly everybody. It's good for the business and gave him an opportunity.

Now that he is successful under my umbrella he got cocky, but he's no hotshot. I have been protecting him from being exposed as a 21yo kid with limited industry knowledge. I regularly deal with men who have 20-30 years experience in the waste industry and know the business. He has 1 year of part-time work and thinks he knows it all. It's frustrating.
 

Avalon

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He needs a dose of reality. It's one thing to mentor the ked and teach him how to run a business. But providing him welfare is not going to help him develop the experience, skills and mentality he needs to thrive when the crutch is removed. If he wants his Vegas trip bad enough, he'll earn it. If he doesn't, tough luck. Gifting him your business should be enough - and motivate him to bust his ass learning the business. He seems entitled. Not a good thing.
what he said^^^^^^tighten that wallet up. The problem with gifting is it becomes expected. Its not doing him any favors in the long run.
 
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coopersmith

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When my oldest kid was around 12 yo, we were working cattle, many days in a row. About the 3rd day he threw a fit becuase he didnt want to push cattle into the chute anymore he wanted to run the head gate. My uncle told him no your too scrawny. he told my uncle fuck you old man, I can do it.

My uncle tells him ok, lets take a break, then you can do it. First thing he did was call my wife and tell her to come over, she was about 15 min away. So we drank a couple of beers and the kid took his position.He caught the first 2 cows just fine. the third old bitch was raunchy. the kid pushed the long handle down to catch her and she threw her head. the handle hit him in the mouth and knocked his 2 top front teeth out. My wife got there about that time, my uncle told him go get in the car with yer mama so she can take you to the dentist. He was happy pushing cows after that. He never mentioned the head gate again.
 

Unca Walt

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Was gifting 21 yo step son my profitable business, so I can retire shortly. He is already on the payroll and in training. I pay all of his living expenses too except auto ins. My company pays his cell phone and he lives with us.

He gets a $2k salary + mileage monthly which works out to $225/day because he works part time.

He came to me early this week because he wants more money. I have him scheduled for 4 days next month because he declined additional work. He is not trained enough for full time.

The kicker is he needs more $ because he is going to Vegas on vacation with his buddies. I have not had a vacation in 3 years. He thinks I am not grateful for him coming on board and helping out. You believe that?
Time to tell him where the center of the earth is. If you do not, you will hurt HIM. If you do not, you will hurt YOURSELF.

Las Vegas is fine: Providing he has his own domicile, car, cell phone, airline ticket, his own earned money (that even though it is money he has earned honestly, he is still willing to blow it with his buddies in Lost Wages).

And the next time he turns down work, dock his pay. You would not tolerate that behaviour in an untrained new hire, would you? We are talking the present and the future here. Your kid's playtime past is OVER.

I raised two boys. Both are spectacular successes. I laid down the same rules as my father did to me: TANSTAAFL. <-- No way around it.

Don't wreck this kid's life by handing him what he in no way deserves. UN-gift the business until he shows absolutely serious interest in it.

Otherwise... I will put it bluntly: The failure is YOURS. And when your business fails -- leaving the kid in the stank, also -- YOU caused it.
 

hammerhead

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Fire him, kick him out of your house, give him 24 hours before the sheriff gets involved and wish him good luck.
 

hammerhead

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When my oldest kid was around 12 yo, we were working cattle, many days in a row. About the 3rd day he threw a fit becuase he didnt want to push cattle into the chute anymore he wanted to run the head gate. My uncle told him no your too scrawny. he told my uncle fuck you old man, I can do it.

My uncle tells him ok, lets take a break, then you can do it. First thing he did was call my wife and tell her to come over, she was about 15 min away. So we drank a couple of beers and the kid took his position.He caught the first 2 cows just fine. the third old bitch was raunchy. the kid pushed the long handle down to catch her and she threw her head. the handle hit him in the mouth and knocked his 2 top front teeth out. My wife got there about that time, my uncle told him go get in the car with yer mama so she can take you to the dentist. He was happy pushing cows after that. He never mentioned the head gate again.
Gotta give him credit for wanting.
 

coopersmith

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It wasnt my deal that was between him and my uncle. We were all tired and beat up, so the rest of us just watched to see what would happen.

After he left we laughed our asses off. Nobody ever said a word about the situation to the kid that I know of. He was smart enough to figure it out on his own.

When he told my uncle fuck you, we all looked at him. We expected my uncle to grab him by the ear and kick his ass. I would have stood there and watched that too. He had me by the ear a few times. It went like shit.
 

BackwardsEngineeer

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So nick,
Tell me if I'm on track...
You have a hot new wife..
Hot wife came with a 21 YO...
Wife now assists in your business, generates sales but generates more in expenses...
You set up 21 YO in your business and basically pay him 225/hr and he lives with you..
But he doesn't have enough saved for vegas...
You want to retire, so the plan is mr 225 is going to take over your business...
Now your frustrated with the attitude and appreciation of mr 225...

ok, if that sums it up?
You had better be real careful pushing buttons or mr 225 might cause nick to be mr 1/2 or less...
 

jrog100

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Was gifting 21 yo step son my profitable business, so I can retire shortly. He is already on the payroll and in training. I pay all of his living expenses too except auto ins. My company pays his cell phone and he lives with us.

He gets a $2k salary + mileage monthly which works out to $225/day because he works part time.

He came to me early this week because he wants more money. I have him scheduled for 4 days next month because he declined additional work. He is not trained enough for full time.

The kicker is he needs more $ because he is going to Vegas on vacation with his buddies. I have not had a vacation in 3 years. He thinks I am not grateful for him coming on board and helping out. You believe that?

Ah, Stepson is a little different. Good luck to ya ;)
 

Goldhedge

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I'd give him what my dad gave me. Advice.

He said "Son, there's the door. Don't let it hit you on your way out."
 

Casey Jones

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The kicker is he needs more $ because he is going to Vegas on vacation with his buddies. I have not had a vacation in 3 years. He thinks I am not grateful for him coming on board and helping out. You believe that?
Not at first, until I walked down to the corner of Memory Lane. I was once as callow, and more so. I'm not, now; so I had to focus to remember.

Seems the relationship needs some re-examination. You sound loyal to him, as a stepfather; but it also sounds like that loyalty may not be reciprocal. Or it may just be the coarseness of youth.

Nonetheless, he just demonstrated: He's not ready for what you're doing for him. Time to back up a bit. Perhaps give him a date at which he will be "resigned" and expected to work elsewhere.

That won't go well, with a self-centered kid; but delaying a rectification of this problem will only make it worse.
 

KnowWhy

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He IS a kid. And as much as you want it, he is too young to take over the business. At least it sounds that way.
 

Goldhedge

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Avalon

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Casey Jones

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He may not need to enlist... We may all have to be military if things get bad.
The military is Woke.

He won't learn discipline. He'll learn self-loathing/hatred of Whites. He'll get Jabbed...we're up to Number 4, now, and that fourth Jab seems to be the Kill Shot.

And then he'll be sent to Ukraine to be used as cannon-fodder by the Azov Nazis.

No, the task now is harder. He, and all of us, need to find a private militia - of GOOD people, not clowns. But he won't find one alone, and they probably won't take him. Too risky.

He'll have to find another way.
 

MrLucky

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"Was gifting 21 yo step son my profitable business, so I can retire shortly. He is already on the payroll and in training. I pay all of his living expenses too except auto ins. My company pays his cell phone and he lives with us."

One appreciates something when they earn it, not when it is given to them. >> I am in a similar boat but with different circumstances. I won't go into it here, but I feel your pain.

I agree with the others, cut him loose. Then if he can't find a good job, let him interview for his old position. Set goals and job expectations to be met or he'll get let go. You made it too easy for him. He's happy you hooked up with his Mom; it's been easy street all the way for him with all the bills you pay for him. And 21 is too young. He has showed he doesn't have the maturity. Sell your business to someone else, get money, retire. If he sees you are not leaving him the business and selling it outright, he may come around, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
 

TomD

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I grew up in an area where very well to do families weren't unusual. The biggest shitbirds I've ever known were the ones who had it all handed to them.
 

ttazzman

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momma's do not want their kids to suffer in any way so good luck.......... but reality is the "adult kid" needs experiences that are best for him and usually that is not more entitlement support

usually its difficult if not impossible to correct this type of issue after the age of 13 without substantial suffering of both the entitled and the enabler

but i would suggest ....slow strategic incremental loss of your supplied resources to the kid as he needs to learn as he goes, accompanied with much encouragement and praise about how he with his special talents could do so much better elsewhere.......but every situation and kid is different but it doesnt get better without corrective moves
 
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Mujahid

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When they think they are rockstars, but are simply roadies and then they give you attitude.

What do you do?

Rockstars have their own shit. Take all your shit away from them.

Did they buy the TV in their room? Did they buy their phone?

Did they buy their clothes? I would take all their shit and go shopping at the Salvation Army for them.

Ok just read your kids are grown… I guess fire them if necessary. You’re supposed to love your kids, not be in love with them.
 

Avalon

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You’re supposed to love your kids, not be in love with them.
Yup.. every one wants to be their kids best friends these days. That is great but never let them forget you are a parent first.
 

Goldhedge

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I took the road of hard knocks and it has made all the difference.
 

WillA2

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Yup.. every one wants to be their kids best friends these days. That is great but never let them forget you are a parent first.

I let my kids know pretty early on that it was not my intention to be their best friend just their Dad. And, that there would be things they would not completely grasp until they had some experience under their belt. My goal is that when they reach that age it will click and then, they would understand.

Being their parent is vastly more important than being their friend. It could save their lives.

.
 

Unca Walt

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They had this figured out back a coupla centuries ago:

"Spare the rod and spoil the child." <-- for physically grown, immature children the "rod" is NO MORE FREE RIDE. <-- It shoulda been that two decades ago, but it is most ricky-tick not too late.

Not acting like a responisble parent at this juncture could fuck up a LOT of lives.

Being a responsible parent at this time will NOT fuck up a lot of lives.