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The Earth is speeding up...

viking

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Rollie Free

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Its your fault and we'll have to raise taxes.
 

chieftain

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This made me laugh:

Scientists have been left scratching their heads about the cause, although experts have suggested that a phenomenon known as the “Chandler Wobble” may be having an impact.

The Chandler Wobble contributes to an increase in the rotational period you fucksticks. These must be the same scientists presiding over the spicy cough narrative :D