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Unca Walt Returns

JayDubya

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#6
So, the other place is dead and there's nobody to listen to the old man so he's decided to come back.

That about sum it up?
 

Weatherman

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Unca, you were AWOL, so I hope you will write a new short story for us to compensate for the days we missed your wit and vigor. Welcome home!
 

Joe King

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#20

DodgebyDave

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#21
WE pirated a forum.........to the point that the innerwebz were overloaded and shut it down. The content was that controversial.
 

Son of Gloin

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#24
Welcome back, Walt. Been wondering about you and hoping you would wander back in. Place ain't the same without your uniqueness.
 

Unca Walt

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#25

Unca Walt

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#27
He was in the unmentionable nether regions of the interwebz on a self imposed exile.


Welcome back Unca. Was your quest fulfilling?
Lemme put this to bed forever this way: Action was taken by a mod that was improper. I left (permanently) with zero fanfare. But Stonedy asked me (very doggone nicely, BTW) to come back.

I did, and like DodgeByDave picked up on, I stepped back into the barroom with a sharp look at the bartender.

There It Is.

'nuff wid dis.

Happy to be here.
 

Unca Walt

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#29
Unca, you were AWOL, so I hope you will write a new short story for us to compensate for the days we missed your wit and vigor. Welcome home!
Well here's one they put in some magazine about twenny years ago:

The History Of Electricity

(The Shocking Truth Revealed!)

cWalt C. Snedeker



Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go when it leaves the toaster?

Well, that's really two questions, but let's be scientifical and say it's just one big one.

Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool, dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach into a friend's mouth and touch one of his fillings. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain? This teaches us that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important electrical lesson.

It also teaches us how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up small batches of "electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpets so they will attract dirt. (That will cause the carpet to wear out faster so you will need to buy a new one sooner, but that's another story.) the electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your friend's filling, then travels down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit.

Amazing Electronic Fact: If you scuffed your feet long enough without touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you have carpeting.

Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers, etc. for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then came along the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin. Ben flew a kite in a lightning storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lightning was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged old Ben's brain so badly that he started speaking in maxims, such as "a penny saved is a penny earned". (Eventually, he got so bad he had to be given a job running the Post Office, but that's also another story.)

Now, after Franklin came a whole herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc.. These pioneers conducted many important electrical experiments. For example, in 1780, Luigi Galvani (this is the truth by the way) discovered when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed, and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact that it sinks like a stone (they're still working on that).

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal training and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could be found in thousands of homes, where it basically sat until 1923 when the record was invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879, when he invented the Electric Company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electric circuit: The Electric Company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire. Then (this is the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again.

This means the Electric Company can sell a customer the same batch of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely. In fact, the last year any new electricity was generated was in 1937; the Electric Companies have merely been re-selling it ever since, which is why they have so much free time to apply for rate increases.

Today, thanks to men like Edison and Franklin, and frogs like Galvani's, we receive unlimited benefits from electricity. For example, in the past decade, scientists have developed the laser, an electronic appliance so powerful that it can vaporize a bulldozer 2,000 yards away, yet so precise that doctors can use it to perform delicate operations on the human eye, provided they remember to change the power setting from "Vaporize Bulldozer" to "Delicate".
 

Professur

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#33
I thought you were dead.
 

Unca Walt

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#34
This stuff is your friend.....

.https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B006...ds=oxidate&dpPl=1&dpID=41rPz-f5GsL&ref=plSrch


And your berries need air/wind/circulation......
Dang. Oh, well. I still have a bunch of last year's in the freezer. But as a fruit grower, I have planted many a banana and never once got a tree. Same thing with seedless watermelons. How the hell can you grow a seedless watermelon?

I am gonna haveta sign off. I am a tad worried; yesterday I accidentally swallowed an ice cube and I have not passed it yet.:zombie:
 

Lt Dan

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#36
But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal training and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could be found in thousands of homes, where it basically sat until 1923 when the record was invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879, when he invented the Electric Company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electric circuit: The Electric Company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire. Then (this is the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again.
Had to be a dyslexic! AC/DC!
 

Scorpio

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#38
<<Do you still beat your wife?

Did you ever suck a better dick than mine?

Are there ONLY those two possibilities in your mind DESPITE my in-depth explanation of the biggest reasons for volunteering? They were volunteering to be there for America... not to be misused by politicians, but bearing with the consequences of their volunteering for that important reason if/when they are misused (as they are) and sent to play war games for old men.

Cognitive dissonance. <-- That doesn't really bother me at all when you display it. I have hope the above paragraph brings us to complete understanding>>

---------------------------

I have sat here and watched you chum it up while dishing it out.

Fine enough, but the above was your last post from before,

Don't put this on the mods, you did it to yourself, and let it go.

I am done with the subject.
 

Lt Dan

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#39
Are there ONLY those two possibilities in your mind DESPITE my in-depth explanation of the biggest reasons for volunteering? They were volunteering to be there for America... not to be misused by politicians, but bearing with the consequences of their volunteering for that important reason if/when they are misused (as they are) and sent to play war games for old men.
I was there, (Vietnam), thought I was doing the right thing for America and yes I did volunteer! Actually was not an option, either enlist or get drafted, is not much of an option, in my mind.

And, that's all I want to say about that!
 

GOLDBRIX

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#40